dead turkeys.

happy thanksgivings everyone. i hope you’re going to explode any minute now with you’re filling of mashed potatos and turkey and stuffing. i’m sure not because i celebrated thanksgiving day the vietnamese way.

…by eating pho.

xD and it was yummy too. so don’t be judging. hey! my brother in iowa was worst. he had HAM. i mean, what the heck. lol. apparently he eats “turkey sandwiches too much” so he’s tired of turkey. haha.

and to think of it. how many million turkeys are freaking killed today. a lot. 300 billion people in the US. so at least, like. 65 million turkeys. and all those pumpkins pies i read about in the PI yesterday. like several million eggs. do they harvest the eggs like the week before? because it’s not like you can keep eggs for months and months…can you? o__o” mannnnn i really craving pumpkie pie. aggggh.

 

my thankful list:

• my family. enough said.
• the closest of the bunch. ally. amine. izzy.
  • ally. you’re still there right? and for many years to come hopefully. we’ll grow old together. but we’ll still kept fit when we’re 80 because of your wii (= hopefully we’ll have amazing fun tomorrow. i’m thankful for you levelheadedness and your straight talk. thank god you are the only person who says it like it’s true.
  • amine. i’m thankful for having you as my confidante, my anchor, and my shoulder to lean on. i’m thankful for you because you keep my heart beating.
  • izzy. too much we’ve been through. even if there’s less time to run on, i hope we make more memories. i’m thankful for all the fun i’ve had with you.
• xx. i’m thankful for having someone to turn to, someone to hold, someone to touch, someone to love. i’m thankful for being loved. i’m thankful you’re mine.
• amine’s mixed cds. life wouldn’t be as musical if it weren’t for these mixes.
• my bed. particularly my new (as of summer ‘08) mattress. more like, my back is hella thankful for this. ^^
• mangosteens. i wish i could eat more of them in seattle.
• non-ugly haircuts. bwahahaha, like mine today. i was too nervous.
• razors. i’d be disgusted with my legs if it weren’t for these things.
• slaughterhouses. for killing the animals so i wouldn’t have to do it myself. x__x

that’s the gist of it. anything else is pretty like, unimportant, so yea. well i mean, important to me. but not really too you. it’s usually the same for everyone, right? family. friends. food. FFF. yep.

well. all those black friday ads are taking up television time. gosh. who’s going to wake up at 4am to go shopping? ..ohyea. me. lol. sykes.

i’m waking up at 9 tomorrow. and bussing at 9;30 to get downtown to meet up with al byron and alex at 10:30. i wonder what we’re going to do. i mean, it’s not like i have any money. god, with my checking acct and what i have in cash, i have less than $100. *sigh. maybe i’ll mooch… rofl.

the sufferances of the eye

agh ick oh god.

my contact lense in my right eye is threatening to fall out. i would just walk to the bathroom, take it out, and put it back in. but alas, i left my contact solution at home. shitake!

binging on tones.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i love you www.bigbangkorean.wordpress.com & your amazing ringtones.

KUDOS ! ! ! !

bwahahahhaa <333

i downloaded …

• lies, oh ah oh, last farewell [big bang]
• one, fan [epik high]
• make love (default ringtone now.) [taeyang]
• so hot [wonder girls]

but sadly, my phone is stupid and won’t let you have a ringtone that exceeds 300kb. so i cant use so hot.

which is like. totally me. xD

 

I LOVE YOU GUYS FOR MAKING MY DAY.

rofl.

penis pokemon.

 

an excerpt from tonight’s amazing conversation between me and the infamous pikachu.

 

PikaCHUUUUUUU! says (9:59 PM):

 

im playing pokemon and this one called relicanth

PikaCHUUUUUUU! says (9:59 PM):

  

looks like a penis

 

 

 

———————————–EDIT

this is what Relicanth looks like:

 i think he’s on drugs. what the frigg? maybe a penis with FINS or something.

 

painted feet.

i was on the phone and my friend had nothing to do. voila! the power of boredom.

 

xD

walk the path less traveled.

it’s been a while since i’ve written something meaningful. and tonight, i feel a little lonely because for the past few weeks, i think i’ve missed a part of me. a person. and while it’s not healthy for me to hang wih her, i still feel conflicted because we’ve had the best times ever together.

it’s like a weird breakup. the whole loving a person but knowing that you broke up with them for a reason.

& i really can’t even compare it to a breakup because we didn’t break up. and no i was not in a relationship with her because yes, i am not a lesbian. she was one of my best friends. a best friend. or so i thought.

and i still think we are. but somewhere along the way, it just fell. what goes up must come down. and soon, it’s like you don’t even know the person and secrets held back are all that you have in common. a wall placed in between. and it sucks. it really does. i want to pick up the phone. but at the same time, i don’t. it’s like purgatory. seeing if you’re good or waiting to repent for your sins.

what i felt stood in a way was the impulse to lie. why does one lie even when they don’t need to? i’ve never been someone to truly criticize someone for telling the truth, no matter how bad. sure i’ve judged people. i judge all my friends. but in the end, they’re still my friends for a reason. i don’t give a shit what they do because i always know there’s some good part of them. and i believe in that. trust bonds friendship and i try to be there for people that need me. and though my trying isn’t very meaningful, shouldn’t it be something?

and friendship is a two way street. like any other relationship, there has to be a semi-equal amount of effort put into it. and maybe at times, i just don’t feel that it was like that. i’m not saying that it was all entirely her fault, but at times, who else could i blame?

i truly do value my friendships. every moment means something. and especially for the past few years with her, it’s been bumpy but we’ve always been good right?

but now, i just feel empty. i want to say i’m sorry. but what do i have to be sorry for? i didn’t do anything.

..or maybe that’s what i should be sorry for. the fact that i did nothing as it fell apart.

sinking from TOP to bottom.

i’m not fangirl. i really am not. i don’t even obsess over TOP. i prefer seungri and g-dragon. but when i saw this  . i swear i got a teensy bit jealous. a teensy urge to punch the living wits out of lee hyori. ><

okay. i have nothing against lee hyori. besides the fact that she’s too hot for her own good and her voice kinda isn’t good. but then again, britney spears is the same way and i love her to death. but TOP and lee hyori? nooooooooooooooooooooooooo. make it stop! it’s not like they’re dating or anything. it was all staged. but. *groans. i’m sure a lot of girls feel this way too. lol. but i’m no obsessive VIP. i just like…Big Bang.

)=

cats love too.

god. so i don’t know what season cats mate in or whatever. but i think maybe it’s this month. or specifically this week. and we JUST got new windows too (like…last year) and they’re double thick paned windows cause we live in the ghetto yo.

but ohmygoddd at night it’s the creepiest thing. my cat is a male cat because we don’t neuter our pets (or care to do it) and so if we got a female pet, we’d so be screwed. so anyways, i think he’s like the pimp in the neighborhood or something because MAN he’s got a crew! i’ve seen probably four cats he’s hung around…er..at least four dif. cats that have hung around our backyard. no wonder our cat food keeps running out. but it’s not like i am chasing them to check out their private parts or whatever so i wouldn’t know if they’re male or female or tranny or something.  but the sounds they make! it’s just creepy. like meow moans. i don’t even know how to explain it.

meeeeeeoannn.

and its all long and stretched out and repeated and . gross. and weird. and like i open my window and hiss. and it stops. and i go back to sleep. and it starts again.

 

jeez.

2months later..

DUDE. MY SISTER IS PREGGOS!

okay. i know. why way preggos. just cuz its fun to say, y’know? anyways. two months after the wedding and she already has a little bun in the oven. and secretly (okay. maybe not secretly since everyone knows) i want a niece. it’s cause i already have two nephews and i mean they’re fun and all and i love them to death, but a niece would me cute girly clothes! and makeup! and girltalk! and i figured, i’ll still be young as she grows up (twenties.) and so i’d be a role model or something for her. the cool aunt! =D im sooo selfish. haha.

 

oh and i realized that celery is SUCH a acquired taste. i mean, if it’s not paired with peanut butter, ew.

halloween day bi-polarness.

happy halloween everyone.

it’s finally on Friday this year and everyone is out partying and trick-or-treating or just having fun doing whatever. me?

i’m actually not feeling too well. i had a long day. it felt long. and tiring. and wet. and cold. and just overall a flatline day. punctuated by a few splendid moments where my heartbeat rate rose a few times but overall, pretty dismal.

1) i feel disgusted with myself. i went to the doctors today for my 3:00pm appointment and i had no eaten ANYTHING the whole day. from my 6am wakeup time to that appointment. nothing. nada. and the scale proved it. 96 pounds.. NINETY SIX FUCKING POINTS. i mean, i’m wasting away. but what’s interesting is that i don’t have an APPETITE. and afterwards, i called up mom and was like “mom. im going to go go grab something to eat at the restaurant.” which automatically translated to “mom. i’m going to hang out with a whole bunch of friends in chinatown” apparently which made her fucking pissed and told me to *ahem* “get my ass to the store this instant”. so much for eating a full meal. ended up picking up a few pastries to nibble on, but by the time i reached the store. i had lost my appetite. and yes, i’m slightly freaking out right now. i don’t want to take a shower because i dont wanna see my body. yes, i’m demoralized. i’m actually reading on tips to gain weight. i need to start a regiment. i need to stop saying need and start doing..

2) halloween was fine. i was disappointed this year to see that less people dressed up than last year. way to conservative. times like this, i wish i was back to Garfield where you would hold costume contests in classes and win prizes and have fun in school. Afterall, it’s Halloween. it comes once a month right? i WAS satisfied with my late-attempt at a costume though. figured i’d dress up as Minnie like i did for Spirit Day, Garfield. i have no pictures to post though cuz i took it off before  i had my doctor’s appt. funny, ‘cuz people actually noticed.

3) i can’t imagine how fast girls are growing up. it seems like every year, freshman girls are more eager to push the limits of their sexuality and see how far they can get. it’s just…slutty. i was downtown waiting for the bus, and this gaggle of girls were dressed up and they couldn’t have been even in high school (considering one of them wore a middle school emblazoned zip-up, unzipped of course). short short dress, thigh-high fishnets//stockings with box on them that make me think of things a girlfriend would wear to turnon her boyfriend. i couldn’t even tell what she was. it was a dorothy-like dress crossed with…princess..crossed with..gothic girl? i mean, you’ve taken the fun out of halloween by dressing as something that’s not..something. what are you parents thinking? and even a parent let their daughter wear that, what is the GIRL thinking. i know you’re trying to think you’re all powerful and seductive and just…attractive when you wear it, hon. i know how it feels. i wore a short skirt today too. but i went with my better judgement and pair it with three layers of socks. i know you see people staring and we all know we secretly love it even though we don’t admit we see it, but what does that say about you? what’s going through that man’s mind in the corner is not “wow, that’s a smart pretty girl that i can imagine being successful in the future” but “i’d tap that.” basically. basically. basically. i remembered when i went through that phase. changing clothes on the bus. putting on heels like it make me feel taller and sexier….. but i don’t know about that anymore. i’d like to stop focusing on what i want people to thinking of myself and instead, think of how i feel about myself.

i’m reading this book. it’s good. it’s sad. it’s called Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters. I’m going be in the corner at school reading with my sweatshirt hood up now. that’s how into it i am. it’s just. eerie. skinny girls. fat girls. their self-esteem issues. thank god for my parents when i was growing up. but yet, i’m still influenced today.

wow. man. i’m…feeling desperate tonight. i’m awfully tired. i think it’s the lack of calories. i want to go to sleep but it’s only 9pm and if i sleep now, i’ll probably wake up later in the night, thus screwing the whole “get a good night rest” advice that i should take from guy-who-is-a-friend-but-i-forgot-to-ask-him-his-name-but-he-was-very-nice. i have SATs tomorrow. good luck to me. i should need it considering i failed today’s math test. yep. yep. i feel lonely..

what. a. day.

 i hope everyone is enjoying their night and if you run out of candy, i suggest that you buy more next time because those little kids really do look forward to halloween. it’s the only day you dress up and get free candy for it. trick or treat. and don’t give them crappy mints or worse, a toothbrush. god. imagine you were a kid again. how would you feel? so make their night. give them something to smile about. =)