breezing by.

last monday i was fine. and then I got killer sick that night.

tuesday. work from 7-1 was killer. i was chugging down Emergen-C like my life depended on in (basically).

No seriously, I was dying. and then I had a PHYSICS midterm that same day.

Yea, as IF I’m going to pass THAT one. I’m LUCKY if I even get 6 points (one multiple choice question worth) out of 100. Yep, THAT BAD. I didn’t have a tissue throughout the exam too so I was sniffling and WIPING MY SNOT on my sleeve. Yes, very attractive. Diana was like “Yea, your boyfriend would totally love you right now” which just made me feel worse. *Sigh.

So I went home. I FORGOT I had another class that same day. Stupid quiz section after Physics on Tuesdays. Ugh. I was so irritated because we were suppose to get back our midterms that day and I totally forgot. But hey, I was sick and I just wanted to get the hell home and go to sleep.

Wednesday was not any better. I skipped Chemistry class, telling my friends to cover for me. Thank god I switch clickers off with Sydney, otherwise I would lose clicker points and I CANNOT afford to lose clicker points in that class anymore.  It’s because we sit on the balcony and the machine hates people who sit on the balcony and never likes to accept our clickers. =/ And so I slept most of the day. And I actually forgot my Comm class started at 11:30 and not 12:30 like I initially thought until I was like “wait….me and sydney bowl until 11:30 usually…”. I missed the bus and ended up making it only one minute late to the class. Luckily, there were hecka people late because it was pouring rain and sad. And so we took our midterm. I wasn’t so worried about Comm class because it’s easy to understand and comprehend the shtuff he talks about but it’s just a lot of shtuff. Turns out, I did a lot better than I initially thought. I was hoping for a mid-B, but I actually got a 90%. A low A, but an A nonetheless. (: Anyways, I had work that same day, 2-5 and I was dying the entire time and coughing and sniffling my ass out. And I skipped VSA meeting too which I didn’t really want to do but I had to because because of daylight savings, it’s like, completely dark at 5pm now and I really didn’t want to walk all the way through campus while being sick and unaware of my surroundings when it was so dark out. Maybe in two weeks. So I went home. And slept.

That night my parents made me do this asian sauna thing where you boil lemongrass and put in a little green eucalyptus oil into the water and swirl it around and then you cover yourself with a blanket and steam over the pot. I felt a bit better but I was still congested so I don’t think it worked. I just pretty much sat there sweating my ass off literally. It was a pool of sweat by the end and I had to mop of the floor with my towel :[

Thursday. I cancelled lunch with an old friend whom I haven't seen in foreverrrrr. I felt bad because we planned it about two weeks in advance but I was too sick. I ended up making plans with another friend for a massage.

Matt has been studying massage as a hobby of his for a while, and a few months back, I read a public posting recruiting up people to try his techniques on. Of course I volunteered and it was his birthday present for me =)

Let's just say it was the most amazing experience I've ever had with someone's hands on my body ;] He was completely professional about it, wearing a blindfold and whatnot. I came wearing jeans and a long sleeve but he wanted as much skin baring so I had to borrow a pair of shorts and a cami from Kathryn to shimmy into. And I laid face down on his little curved pillow and covered myself with the sheet thing. It was first just regular rubbing and feeling up and down my back for little bumps of tension and stuff. Apparently I’m super stiff and I had a hard time just relaxing. And then when he applied the pressure with his elbow or hand or whatever (I don’t know because I was facedown), it hurt but it was the kind of good hurt…you know? and then he used this really cool tingly cream over me (it smelled good!) and then pulled out my arms and my legs. It was…just amazing. And by then, I was kind of going in and out of falling asleep. All I remember after that was him putting a towel on me and laying these hot stones on my back and I just passed out. Seriously. He said for half an hour? And when I was semi concious, all I could hear was my phone vibrating. Lol. I had to ask Matt to text back my friends because I was just soo….out of it.

I seriously think that was what made me better because I feel goooooood the next day. Now I just have occasional sniffles and little coughs but my body feels so. much. better. I must take him out for the lunch the next time I see him. ^^

On Friday, it was a girl’s afternoon out filled with bowling and DDR and very horrible three table ping pong. We made a huge ruckus and were really loud but it was very fun and kept my mind off things for a while.

The weekend was good. Sister came up. My parents had a party to go to Saturday night so I went out with my sister and her friends. We had a good time. Dinner and then Dilettante’s. They’re taking me out devirginizing my clubginity when my parents are away in VN. =) I’m excited. I came home and just crashed because alcohol makes me so sleepy and we walked a lot and it was cold outside and so warm underneath my covers.

Today was a quiet day filled with lot’s of baby pictures and cuddling with Tamtam. She’s just adorableeeee now. Her chubchub cheeks and her blowing of raspberries. <3

On the love side of my life, I’ve been really strained lately. Long distance relationships really do suck, no matter how much faith you put into it, hoping it will work out. Things never go as planned right? Anyways, it’s through tough times that friends come through and provide the support you need and comfort you through all the tears you cry. I know I don’t have many close friends but I do love the small circle that I do have. My problems mainly have been petty girl things such as jealousy and pangs of sadness but it’s all due to the fact that I’m here and he’s there. It’s not that I don’t trust him. I really do. But of course, I can’t help feeling the way I do because it’s just hard. But I was able to talk through some of it tonight after being pretty much pressured into it (thanks, person.). Apparently, I’m suppose to tell him everything I feel? I know it sounds pretty “duh” when you write it down but sometimes you’re just scared of losing the person if you reveal to them how much you really care. I didn’t want to. Truthfully, I’ve never been really good with controlling my emotions. I suppress them and hide them away from the people they directly impact. Some people say that jealousy means that you care. If your boyfriend/girlfriend never got jealous, that’s not good. I wonder if he even ever gets jealous. And speaking of showing you care, how do you should you care if you’re in a long distance relationship? (I feel like being Natalie Tran and saying “post your comments at the bottom of this page”. HAH.) Actually, I’m quite creative and I have a million ideas of how I would do it. But for some reason, I doubt he would have any creative ideas. Lol. It’s a million to one in terms of guys like that. And it’s funny to think that the one guy that was creative ended up being a guy that I couldn’t be with. *shrugs. Life is that way I guess.

I had a good weekend honestly. Chocolate + cuteness overload. Thanksgiving this year should be fabulous as well. (:

crossdressing babies?

what if i dressed my baby boy in pink? what would people think.

baby tam looks a bit like a boy so my sister has to dress her up in all pink outfits. and EVEN then, asian people always ask “boy or girl?” because guess what, WE’RE NOT AMERICAN.

asian people don’t think in that “pink for girls. blue for boys” idea that all americans believe in. my mom still forgets that because it’s not engrained in OUR societal norms. we hardly have money for decent clothes, so don’t even get started about choosing a COLOR for clothes. what if i wanted to dress my baby in purple. or green. should i stick a big fat bow on her head just to label her as a “girl”?

and actually, on a saturday night when we’re all boozed up and high on a feeling of familyness [we had a party with friends and presents and good food], there was a conversation about how people are always saying “AWWW WHAT A CUTE BABY” when they see someone’s baby. a family friend said that it is said so much that it has become JADED and now there is truly no feeling to those words because it practically said for EVERY baby. but my question is are there ugly babies out there? because i truly haven’t seen an ugly baby. all babies are cute to me and i mean, some of them are absolutely gorgeous because of their long eyelashes/puffy cheeks/pouty lips/whatever makes babies super cute, but if they lacked these “cute” features, does that label them as an UGLY baby? it’s so mean to start judging people by appearances when they’re SO YOUNG. it’s just…MEAN. what kind of human goes up to a baby and thinks in their head “god what an ugly baby.” be ashamed of yourself.

—-

happy labor day everyone. my weekend has absolutely been splendid. there was that family party thing on saturday. truthfully, i was dreading it because i knew that everyone would be fawning all over my sister and her baby [as always, SHE is the gorgeous perfect daughter/asian] and i just hate it when i’m casted as the ugly little sister that should BE LIKE HER OLDER SISTER.  >< how many times have i completely gone mentally insane over my mom wishing i was more like my sister? too may times to count.. *sigh. anyways, it ended up being great. i cannot stress how much i love the baby. i just love holding her. i never got to do this with my nephews because they live so far away but baby Tam is just adorableee.

and then on sunday, there was party we had to go to because our family friend’s son’s son is one year old so there was a party thing at Jumbo Restaurant. typical Vietnamese to throw a huge party because their son graduated from med school and their grandson is one years old. showoff asians. god so much food too. it all tasted the same after the 3 dish because it was a chinese restaurant though.. and of course, everyone fawned over how GORGEOUS my sister is after giving birth.

OH THERE WAS A HUGE DISS PART  THOUGH.

man [ to my sister] : well u look like your mom so very gorgeous.

man [offside to me]: you look like your dad!

><”

horrible.

and then today, i watched House of Flying Daggers for the first time ever. it’s a great movie. i liked a lot, especially the visuals which were amazing. that green bamboo forest? and the wintery blizzard scene? =D and the love story was tragic and i was crying in the end, naturally.

and then i went to target where i was uninterested in anything but food. clothes don’t attract me anymore. it’s sad.

anyways, gotta work tomorrow at 7am! dad’s redoing the kitchem floor this week. ]:

friends4life.

running into people you know has got to be the most stressful thing in the world. especially when they’re not the type that you can totally blow off because you’ve probably spoken 3 words to them in your entire life. i’m talking about the type that you have to turn around inyour seat and crane your neck back to talk to them out of politeness because you actually care what they think about you. AND also because you know that if you’re not nice, they’ll probably hate you for the rest of your life and i wouldn’t want anyone to hate me for the rest of my/their life. seriously.

happened. twice today.

i guess it didn’t go too bad. *modifications of names are done for privacy sake.

mommy and me went to chinatown to get groceries and so ended up taking the first bus that headed downtown, downtown. coincidentally it was the 36 bus. that is, i  didn’t notice it was the 36 until i saw how many asians there were on there but anyways. I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE AVOIDED IT because i ALWAYS run into people i know when it’s the 36 because it runs through Beacon Hill … the “asian people” part of town. i ran into* jellybean, *vehicle, and *vietwah on there. we talked about school and uw and friends and why they were in chinatown and whatnot but all the time i was feeling ugly because she’s pretty with amazing skin and im all horrible and not amazing skin. and i do know how allycat is feeling because it seems like old guys are somehow all creepily attracted to me. AND crazy people because they talk to themselves and than all of a sudden the face me and say “how ya doing cutie.” *scuttles away really fast..*

anyways, yes her and vehicle were not that bad. they got off two stops after i got on with a “wanna come hang out with us?” which was really nice. it was actaully not that bad considering what went on between us in the past. girl drama and gossip and boys pretty much ended our friendship. but it was a somewhat nice reconciliation although i do still cringe are her bubbly-airhead way of talking and and eye rolling ><” after they got off, i settle into the somewhat cushiony seat of the bus to relax from self-conciousness when it was a “HEY! *tap tap on my head!*”

i turn around about to ask why they got on the bus again only to find myself facing HIM. a guy that i was somewhat interested but totally turned off after getting to know him a bit more. he’s okay. a sweet awkward kinda guy. we made good small talk and he said i look a bit like my mom so props to him for sucking up. [: it was a hi-bye conversation that last to part of the u district. he invited to me lucnh with his friend which was also nice.

...maybe i shouldn't be so mean to people i should get to know better? self-eval check, Hao. maybe i'm the problem in the friendship and shouldn't be so judgemental? =/ they're NOT THAT BAD. *sigh

i resolve to be a better friend in the future. i need to work on my social skills. maybe that's why i'm taking communications class? haha.

on the other side of things.

i will be playing tennis with my brother today.

i need to go to target to return their expensive flip flops and a pair of moccasins that were an impulse buy.

we are redo-ing the floor of our kitchen.

i am excited for epik high's new album that will indeed be illegally downloaded by me and spread by my mouth to others.

i want an upgrade for my phone but i am too lazy to actually go through the motions of it.

uw work study starts after labor day weekend

OH.

speaking of labor day weekend. sissy is coming up with baby tam tam! i have taken to calling her tam tam because it's adorable`. we're excited and everyones happy and i need to go effing clean the house because she's still hormonal [is she EVER going to stop?] and we’re throwing a party and people are coming over and then we have to go to another party thing and busy busy  busy. i still think the hair is sexy but she looks like a boy.

zits? check. menstrating? check. body healthy? ehh..maybe.

You know. I think I’ll write my about my past in spurts just because I’m too lazy to actually sit down and write a huge ass one down.  It’s 12:13am and I’m just so tired and the only reason I’m up is that I have to wait like, 20-30 mins after washing my face to apply tretinoin cream on. Which really sucks. There’s mounds of zits on my face. I’ve been PMSing the last week and I always get horrible outbreaks during my period which just kills me. And it’s not even on my face, more like JUST MY FOREHEAD. And it’s all greasy and grossness. And during the crucial time in which I have been able to look cute Communications guy in the face and ask him “how do you say Hi in Korean” (btw, it’s like anh-yo or something. But oh his accent is so cute. It’s all light and feathery like a girl.

Anyways, where we were. Ah, yes. My period. The lovely blood gushing out between your legs. Oh sweet womanhood. The joys of stuffing cotton between your legs (or up them, which ever method of controlling you prefer). Woot woot!

Naw, you don’t want to hear about that. But since this blog is so far being written about the body, I might as well make that the theme of it.

So as I’ve written, I think I have…if not then here’s a first, I’ve been taking Yoga. And boy, that class has been just absolutely amazing. The first two days were a PAIN IN THE ASS, I swear. But now, it’s just. So relaxing and for all the people that label Yoga as a not an “exercise” and as weak and whatnot (comparative to what, weight lifting?), you’re pretty much wrong. Unlike other forms of exercise, I found that yoga works on EVERYTHING. Your stomach, ass, chest, arms, legs, EVERYTHING. And when I’m not sweating in that class, I can feel the warmth and the stress I’m putting on my body. It’s just pure amazing. After class, I’m just totally chillaxed and zoned out and just so…free. And I swear that class is making me more passive (which can be a bad/good thing. I don’t know). I’m just more, whatever now. At least, for a while. (:

And relatable to Yoga, we talk about a lot of the body parts we use and at the same time, I’ve been learning about those same body parts in A&P.

A&P? Anatomy and Physiology? Hands down my hardest class in my schedule. I’m nanaging a 3.2 and I’m so disappointed. But hopefully I will be able to raise it up with some hard work. But knowing what’s next in that class (respiratory system..woot woot!) i’m so screwed. Shitake!

SIDETRACKED————

My boyfriend just called. Lol. He’s down in Chinatown karaoking. Go Venus! At least, that’s the only karaoking place I know that’s in Chinatown. If I was karaoking today, right now, I’d probably be dead. As much as I love karaoking (or doing anything that’s OUTSIDE my house), tonight, I just feel. Tired. Like I have for the past …week. It’s quite somber actually. I don’t know why. So so so tired. I’m writing this as I lay in bed waiting (only 5 more mins ‘til tretinoin applying time!) and I jut want to crawl up and sleep forever. But sadly, no. We have stuff to do! Like write this blog. Doiy. (Is that how you spell it? DOY-EE)

We have some Vietnamese event thing to go to (With the parents of course, but that’s okay because I don’t mind my parents as much as I use to) for something and then we have to swing by temple because we missed Le Phat Dan (Buddha’s birthday) so we have to stop by and light some incense and pray, y’know? Yes, I’m such a dedicated Buddhist. Can you hear the sarcasm? Not that I don’t like my religion…I love temple. I wish we went more. The chanting is cool (just like Yoga class). Wow, yes, I’m quite blasé about my religion, don’t hate. Anyways, where was I? Oh yea, and then we’re going to Bac Hao’s house! Family friend who’s name is Hao too. They’re the awesomest couple and have two boys in there 20s who are super into Christian (Catholic maybe?) school and are like super involved in their church and teach religion and stuff there too. I mean, I hate them for having a passion//talent. But I haven’t seen them in ages. I’ll probably scare them off with my craterface ): But the wife makes is a SUPER TALENTED baker. She used to make my birthday cakes for me and they were deliciousness. And she makes pies and cupcakes and she knits SO WELL too. My mom is always envious of her. So am I. ^^ But we’re visiting them tomorrow because they have friends over and they’re friend’s babies and yay, baby party!

Speaking of babies, my sister is having gestational diabetes. I sound smart when I say that but like hell I know what that means. Haha. All I know is that she had to cut down her carb//sugar intake by A LOT and so my sister is basically starving now because she’s so use to eating a lot and getting fat (she’s gained like 15 pounds for the pregnancy, which I don’t think is a lot? I have no idea…never been pregnant). But she’s complaining about not being able to eat her mocha ice cream and avocado shakes after dinner and I genuinely feel bad because I know my sister loves to eat…

 

 

Well, way to have this be a spurt of a blog and focused on “the body”. Hey, in some ways it was. =D. Time for some good ol’ sleep. I will see YOU, tomorrow. Promise *pinky swear*.

 

****BTW: I wrote this on Microsoft Word to be transferred to WordPress because my brother has taken over our dialup. So I will post this ASAP. Probably tomorrow morning.

***IT IS NOW 12:43AM.

^^

 

**EDIT: posted 1:54 the next day. i’m at the store.

mommy, i want to be a mom when i grow up.

looking at my sister’s belly and her 3D video and pictures (i never knew they had such a thing) makes me want to instantly go out and start getting pregnant right away. luckily, that whole feeling ends as soon as i remember i don’t even have a driver’s license yet so…i’m safe. is this in anyway similiar to that whole trend of teen pregnancies rising after Juno and Jamie Lynn Spears getting pregnant news and stuff? that it really influences you and encourages you (or makes you) want to go out and get a baby bump too? that it’s cool? i hope not =[

this weekend, my sister came up for the first time since…a long time. and boy she was huge. she has two months left but that bump is bigger than a freaking basketball. it’s creepy and curious in a way. and her waddle is the most cute thing about her. and you know what i hate? that she still looks freaking gorgeous even she’s sweating like a pig and passing gas and burping (which apparently comes with the package?). sundresses in 50 degree weather, god i envy her so much!

the 3D video was amazing. technology never fails to amaze me. i swear. i saw her yawn and smile. and it just about made me cry. just almost. lol. i’m so emotional around kids. o_0″ 

 

and this week, there was slightly good weather (sunnny on mondaaaay and tuesdaaaay) so the store was busier. but there’s a sudden boom in little kids at the store and it’s like freaking cadyland cuteness at the store when they come in. my parents swarm them, and of course i get caught up in the action too. there’s hannah and james and ruby and adele and they’re all so cute and most of them are like..1 years old – 3 years old so they’re all curious and walking around and tentative and smiley and omg it’s just so adorable. 

these things make me seriously want to work with kids.

seriously.

headliners and updates.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30048425/?GT1=43001

So apparently, on April 1^st, NYU sent out some 489 email acceptance letters that were actually meant to be rejection letters. I mean, that must suck right? Especially since a student is so busy freaking out thinking about whether they got into that school or not.

I mean, it wouldn’t matter as much is that school was like…some community college (do they even send out acceptance emails? CCs I mean?) but it’s like, “HEY. YOU GOT IN” and then the person is all like “HOLY EFF I GOT INTO NYU *CALLS UP EVERYONE THEY KNOW*” only to find out an hour later that “SORRY. MY BAD. WE ACTUALLY DON’T WANT YOU.”

Jeezus, that sucks. I know I’d be crying or something if that happened to me and if NYU was my first choice or something.

Anyways, so I’m finding out that a lot of people didn’t get into UW or they got put on the waiting list and this is really sucking because it’s making me horrendously worried for my own selfish reasons related to someone directly close to me. And I always thought that one of my friends would definitely get in because he is a RS student and getting college transfer credits as well and I mean, that means he’s better than some high school students lacking that 4.0 (or 3.5) right? But he didn’t. And now I don’t know what he’s doing. ><”

On the other hand, there is something on the news I must rant about.

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2008986370_websixdead04m.html

A man kills his 5 children and then commits suicide. What I didn’t see in the article (but heard on NPR this morning) was that the father found his wife with another man the earlier evening, and when she said she was leaving him, he went berserk and killed his children. Basically.

At first when I heard the news, my family and I thought it was related to the economic downturn. After all, there have recently been numerous national events related to the economy (note the one in NY, the kidnapping of the man with his daughter) and people losing their jobs can alter a person’s state of mind. We thought the father had been laid off and killed his family because of worriment or shame or something along the lines of that. But apparently not. But what DOESN’T make sense is that he killed his kids for something his wife did? He caught his wife with another man, so why kill the kids? Shouldn’t killing the wife (and maybe the other man) make more sense? It fits the whole killing in a passion of rage logic. I’m not saying that I condone any type of killing at all. Seriously, no. But those kids didn’t DO anything. They were ages 7 to 16. One boy, 4 girls. It’s just ridiculous. Even though the man ended up commit suicide, it doesn’t make up for the fact that 5 lives were lost for no reason at all. There was no justice done.

————————————–CHANGE OF SUBJECT

School starts again on Monday! Woot woot. Not! I want it to start on Tuesday or Wednesday actually. Not because I don’t like school or nothing. Well, we all don’t like school to some degree but I’m one of those nerds that do like learning so be quiet. It’s actually because of this freakiiiiiiiiiiing weather. I mean, the news was even like “if you can find a reason to not stay inside, take it” and I’m thinking, “can we go outside for syllabus reading?” and I would totally skip if not for the fact that if you miss the first day and there are people on the waiting list, then you are dropped. At least I don’t have yoga and I’ll be spending the morning relaxing underneath bed covers. Woohoo.

I cleaned the yard today, and we’re going to cut the grass. It feels like spring. But it’s not going to last because it’s going to rain like…on Wednesday.  I’m also just resting on the hammock and read a chapter from Little Women. I find comfort in quiet nowadays, I don’t know why. Just me and the sun and quietness. I think I’ve adapted to my loner lifestyle. Haha.

Oh and apparently, my sister’s baby is kicking like crazy and starting to turn (she’s due in like, 2 months) and that my sister’s belly is starting to sag and be all pregnant. Cool. I’m so excited for the baby shower in 2 weeks and my brother’s coming home in less than 2 months! And yes life is doing good. Everything’s fine and dandy. The sun has helped business at the store and I’m eating a nectarine.

I always seem to be sleeping and eating but I never seem to game weight. Oddly enough, I’m fine with that. C cups will have to wait until I get pregnant. xD

 babies

IT’S A GIRL !

my sister just came back from the doctor after checking the sex of the baby.

I’m going to have a niece!

ahhh, i must go online shop for the baby shower. and omg I can finally splurge on baby girl’s stuff! cuteness! omg!

yayayayayyayaya awesommmmmmmmmmmmmmmeness.