not sad at all.

they say, love brings out the best in people.

but it also brings out the worst.

look at me. point proven. i think the path i’m going on is self-destructive.

not good.

i’ll probably alienate half the ones that matter most to me with my obnoxious self-loathing and insecurity before i even have a chance to say i’m sorry.

emo morning. who wants to read emo stuff.

let me eat my chicken cajun rice tv dinner in peace while i prepare for my future to fail.

 

youtube flood.

it’s been a while since I’ve posted something youtubey on here. so let’s go!

first is of course is suju’s new MV for “It’s You” off their [new?] repackaged album. My mate already posted it but I think she posted the leaked version, but I’m not so sure. 

SUPER JUNIOR — IT’S YOU.

Yes, Ki Bum is back. But with what? A few smiley/teary face shots? C`’MON. We need some love here and his lovely voice (albeit there is no rapping parts in that song, but ohwell). And yes I drooled during Choi Siwon. That jacket he’s wearing is a sexy piece of fabric. And Kyu~!  The song is way better than Sorry Sorry (though I still like Monster) and it’s been on repeat for…2 days and is about to invade my Top 25 list. The chest thump thumping (yes, I know it’s call ‘popping’ but y’know. it’s cuter to say thump thumping [: ) ! ! ! WOOT WOOT. xD 

2NE1 -- FIRE. [2 versions: Street & Space]

Of course since I’m such a Big Bang, who wouldn’t be eager to see what the so-named “female counterpart of Big Bang” had to offer. And as addicting Lollipop was, it was way to bubblegum tastelike. WG and SNSD could do that genre better. I must admit, that although their new song is great, I am skeptical of what they have to offer. Their voices are synthesized so much and their dance moves haven’t quite been developed. Minji really amazed me for being 14 (I think?) though. She’s got spunk, that one. I think it’s different because it went the reggae way and had a different beat. Definitely something G-Dragon would do (considering he played a huge part in making the song). Lots of people said they liked Space vers. better but I liked Street. I don’t know. Just my preference. But yes, a good song that has also certainly racked up plays on iTunes.

LEARN KOREAN W/ YUNHO

Ah.hahahahah. I only found this after searching for how ot say “you are cute” in korean. Well I know now, kinda. But I don’t know how the whole spelling thing goes. But this is just SO FUNNY. It will go well with my plan to buy some chocolate milk and show off to Comm. guy that I can say “yummy milk” in Korean. Mwahahaha. Only too bad he thinks im so high-matinence bitch after I asked Yoon to toss away my milk for me. *sigh. I can never keep my mouth shut.

 

on the other hand. —-

 

grey’s anatomy teasers for season finale 

just 2 teasers that (1) made me angry and (2) made me laugh. I’m sure you know which one is which.

MAN ALEX YELLING AT IZZY? GR. But I understand it’s all because he loves and her and whatnot. It’s so bittersweet the way Alex has grown up. But once in a while, we are able to glimpse the old Alex and see how his personality is affected by the way he was raised. But Izzie and Alex. I love them to death. I do. The scene of when Alex lifted Izzie in her prom dress still makes me cry. But Mark and Lexie (Mexie?) are just. so sweet. 

I’m so effing excited for the SEASON FINALE tomorrow. I mean, SEASON FINALE AHH  OMG WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ON THURSDAY NIGHTS NOW. GAWDDD.

I might as well start burning Season 4 discs and watching re-runs. ):

WONG FU PRODUCTIONS — WHEN FIVE FELL.

I love Wong Fu because they do videos that are relate-able, visually stimulating, and just artistic. The trailer proves everything about them. The music always plays a huge part of their videos. I’m excited to watch this new one considering I never saw their full-feature film. I’m anxious for the day that Wong Fu can break it into the mainstream because they really do rock. They went to Cannes after all!

 

 

———

I must go home now so I will attempt to post a new one tomorrow if not tonight. There’s been a bit on my mind regarding my love and what my future holds. Maybe I’ll write poetry? It’s been a while since I’ve written something. I’m being coaxed to write once again by a close friend. I’m inspired by his spoken word writings too. GO RYAN! But anyways. Laters dude.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ihttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3dWEVQpLnc

zits? check. menstrating? check. body healthy? ehh..maybe.

You know. I think I’ll write my about my past in spurts just because I’m too lazy to actually sit down and write a huge ass one down.  It’s 12:13am and I’m just so tired and the only reason I’m up is that I have to wait like, 20-30 mins after washing my face to apply tretinoin cream on. Which really sucks. There’s mounds of zits on my face. I’ve been PMSing the last week and I always get horrible outbreaks during my period which just kills me. And it’s not even on my face, more like JUST MY FOREHEAD. And it’s all greasy and grossness. And during the crucial time in which I have been able to look cute Communications guy in the face and ask him “how do you say Hi in Korean” (btw, it’s like anh-yo or something. But oh his accent is so cute. It’s all light and feathery like a girl.

Anyways, where we were. Ah, yes. My period. The lovely blood gushing out between your legs. Oh sweet womanhood. The joys of stuffing cotton between your legs (or up them, which ever method of controlling you prefer). Woot woot!

Naw, you don’t want to hear about that. But since this blog is so far being written about the body, I might as well make that the theme of it.

So as I’ve written, I think I have…if not then here’s a first, I’ve been taking Yoga. And boy, that class has been just absolutely amazing. The first two days were a PAIN IN THE ASS, I swear. But now, it’s just. So relaxing and for all the people that label Yoga as a not an “exercise” and as weak and whatnot (comparative to what, weight lifting?), you’re pretty much wrong. Unlike other forms of exercise, I found that yoga works on EVERYTHING. Your stomach, ass, chest, arms, legs, EVERYTHING. And when I’m not sweating in that class, I can feel the warmth and the stress I’m putting on my body. It’s just pure amazing. After class, I’m just totally chillaxed and zoned out and just so…free. And I swear that class is making me more passive (which can be a bad/good thing. I don’t know). I’m just more, whatever now. At least, for a while. (:

And relatable to Yoga, we talk about a lot of the body parts we use and at the same time, I’ve been learning about those same body parts in A&P.

A&P? Anatomy and Physiology? Hands down my hardest class in my schedule. I’m nanaging a 3.2 and I’m so disappointed. But hopefully I will be able to raise it up with some hard work. But knowing what’s next in that class (respiratory system..woot woot!) i’m so screwed. Shitake!

SIDETRACKED————

My boyfriend just called. Lol. He’s down in Chinatown karaoking. Go Venus! At least, that’s the only karaoking place I know that’s in Chinatown. If I was karaoking today, right now, I’d probably be dead. As much as I love karaoking (or doing anything that’s OUTSIDE my house), tonight, I just feel. Tired. Like I have for the past …week. It’s quite somber actually. I don’t know why. So so so tired. I’m writing this as I lay in bed waiting (only 5 more mins ‘til tretinoin applying time!) and I jut want to crawl up and sleep forever. But sadly, no. We have stuff to do! Like write this blog. Doiy. (Is that how you spell it? DOY-EE)

We have some Vietnamese event thing to go to (With the parents of course, but that’s okay because I don’t mind my parents as much as I use to) for something and then we have to swing by temple because we missed Le Phat Dan (Buddha’s birthday) so we have to stop by and light some incense and pray, y’know? Yes, I’m such a dedicated Buddhist. Can you hear the sarcasm? Not that I don’t like my religion…I love temple. I wish we went more. The chanting is cool (just like Yoga class). Wow, yes, I’m quite blasé about my religion, don’t hate. Anyways, where was I? Oh yea, and then we’re going to Bac Hao’s house! Family friend who’s name is Hao too. They’re the awesomest couple and have two boys in there 20s who are super into Christian (Catholic maybe?) school and are like super involved in their church and teach religion and stuff there too. I mean, I hate them for having a passion//talent. But I haven’t seen them in ages. I’ll probably scare them off with my craterface ): But the wife makes is a SUPER TALENTED baker. She used to make my birthday cakes for me and they were deliciousness. And she makes pies and cupcakes and she knits SO WELL too. My mom is always envious of her. So am I. ^^ But we’re visiting them tomorrow because they have friends over and they’re friend’s babies and yay, baby party!

Speaking of babies, my sister is having gestational diabetes. I sound smart when I say that but like hell I know what that means. Haha. All I know is that she had to cut down her carb//sugar intake by A LOT and so my sister is basically starving now because she’s so use to eating a lot and getting fat (she’s gained like 15 pounds for the pregnancy, which I don’t think is a lot? I have no idea…never been pregnant). But she’s complaining about not being able to eat her mocha ice cream and avocado shakes after dinner and I genuinely feel bad because I know my sister loves to eat…

 

 

Well, way to have this be a spurt of a blog and focused on “the body”. Hey, in some ways it was. =D. Time for some good ol’ sleep. I will see YOU, tomorrow. Promise *pinky swear*.

 

****BTW: I wrote this on Microsoft Word to be transferred to WordPress because my brother has taken over our dialup. So I will post this ASAP. Probably tomorrow morning.

***IT IS NOW 12:43AM.

^^

 

**EDIT: posted 1:54 the next day. i’m at the store.

prom no show.

yes, i didn’t go to prom and yes, i’m not afraid of saying that i don’t really give a damn. sure those facebook albums made me feel like a social outcast for the first few pictures or so…but oh well.

i did not go because 

1) i am so disconnected from my high school, i swear i’m just graduation day away from leaving it behind. there’s only a few i carry on in my heart, but just a few.

and 

2) the main reason is that my mom would have went with me. and who the heck wants their mom to go with them to prom. i mean, awkwarrrrrrrd.

i’m going to the epik high concert afterall.

you know what’s  highly ironic though? my mom got very sick the few days around prom. so if i chose prom (over epik high), i could have gone. alone. and freak danced with some random peoples. [; i had a gorgeous dress and jewelry and shoes and stuff. i could have gone with someone. i could have had a nice dinner and whatnot. but ohwell.

anywho. it’s in the past. whatever. prom is just something that comes and goes. though when i have kids, they’ll probably think i’m some loser but THAT’S OKAY. (: 

it’s just a short thing today to remind me in the future of not going to prom and whatnot. i haven’t been writing much. i promise an oober long one coming up consisting of random shtuff such as my evaluation of netflix and excitement regarding the concert and summer plans and yoga and of course, 2NE1’s MVs and new song “Fire” (which is HOT.)

 

ta.ta.

another weekend.

ho hum ho hum. it’s the weekend once again. what to do. i need to go to kohls to return pants to get new ones. who knew i could lose weight in a week. weird. they’re having a sale too. i need…pants. besides jeans. im wearing my black courds so much they might as well start molding into my skin. they’re just so comfortable though. (shopping online) oooh that plaid peacoat i saw at aero for 29.99 is on clearance for 19.99….hm….

i’m having trouble figuring out what to do for my birthday. though, maybe i won’t do something at all since it’s such a effing hassle get everything together and then some people always feel left out or neglected and someone’s not having fun. this is the consequence of having friends from different groups. god, what if i just hung out with the asians. then all my friends would be in the same group and we could do group-y things together. or..not.. because that’s not me. but it’s annoying and ridiculous and me, i want everyone to be happy so if someone wasn’t. yep, there goes my birthday plans. and choosing an effing movie is hard too. romance? horror? action? i dislike action movies. whatever. i must end up scrapping everything and having an intimate lunch with an old friend. and then we’ll go see a movie. just me and her of course. wow, that sounds like a date. rofl.

god, i need a meeting with a punching bag right now.

i’m really digging all this newfound dance music from cascada and basshunter and big bang’s new single (for Japan) “Number 1″. it’s all about the bass beats, baby. home alone, i could easily just turn up the bassbooster in my brother’s room, plug in my laptop, and rock the house. literally too. i don’t think the neighbors appreciate it though. okay okay. maybe not that loud, but loud enough for me to shut the door and just lay on the floor and feel the vibes. i’m into that stuff. trancy beats and whatnot. on the other hand, i’d like to someday just sit in a white ass room in silence. like, one of those hecka bright white rooms that you see in music videos and stuff. and just sit there in the corner, all quiet and stuff. god, i sound crazy right now.

i did get some good luck today by having my math test turn out to be a take-home test. what else…nope. nothing else. i’m feeling quite blah at the moment.

im at the store. typical day. typical week. nothing new.  i’ll live like this ’til i’m 30. well, at least i get free vitamin water…blah.

skintoskin.

nights chilled, like rum on ice.
for now, these blankets will suffice.
but wouldn’t it be nice
if it was your body enticed.
to be on top of mine, to be precise.

 

♥

monster dreams

bored in history today. drew this. enjoy~