amour is in the air & it’s clogging my head.

it’s one of those i-don’t-want-to-know-the-answer-type questions that occasionally occur to a person during the times where their body is mentally and physically strained and beaten down by life.

okay. exaggeration.

BUT.

let’s set up the scenario.

couple goes out. enters first stages of romance when in the beginning, both parties are hesitant to use the “L” word [lust ! woohoo! jk. okay. seriously.] because they both want to mean it when they say it. girls have that funny, although no doubt extremely sexist and cliche, that guys run away screaming in the other direction  when they hear the words “i love you”. anyways, not true. but yes, so after beating around the bush, they triumphantly pass that part of their relationship and are able to express their deep emotional feelings for each other and say I LOVE YOU loud and proud.

at what point after does that phrase become something expected rather than truly meant?

in other words, what if it ends up being something said out of obligation rather than truth.

what happens then?

…funny enough. being me, i did not keep my mouth shut and keep this to myself. i HAD to express my self to my boyfriend and immediately regretted it. it was a horrid thing to say out loud and it didn’t even reflect the way i feel because my love is in the moment. it is immediate. it reflects how i feel about you in the present tense. i mean, that’s what life’s all about right? and when he responded “kinda”, [i rephrased the question into a "is i love you something that we've come to expect from another now? or something similar to that] …i  bawled my eyes out some more. lol.

told you. i blame the hormones.

exhausting.

a dam breaks and the river runs until it has eroded all in it’s path and goes dry. i did not get a good night’s sleep last night. i blame the hormones because i can tell my period is coming because 1) my boobs get fatter and 2) my thighs start to get sore. it makes me look fatter and apparently you get a glow that makes you look prettier. lol. anyways, i did not get a good sleep. but last night made me thankful for a lot of things including people you love. it also made me question some other things such as what love is. it’s a confusing time and i just want my period to come and get it over with.

in addition, the night foreshadowed what my day was going to be like. i woke up with puffy eyes and eyeliner made me look more like a raccoon than ever. i went to chem class and didn’t listen [i DID get all clicker questions right though ^^] and my laptop screwed me over because i can’t change the orientation of the screen in tablet mode when i don’t have an adapter plugged in? how annoying. but i just really wanted to go to sleep. the hour after that was fun-filled though because there was ‘penny per pin’ bowling. you pay a penny for every pin you knock down total. only happens 10:30 – 11:30 so me and sydney went and played. it was hilarious because we got SO many gutter balls and the ball practically dragged us down half of the lane. and then i was late to communications class and i couldn’t get a seat i wanted so i had to freaking slide in between the aisles to a seat all the way in the middle where i was squished in between people. i felt claustrophobic. we DID watch a hilarious spoof news cast about the “dangers of facebook”. and the class was over an hour early so i had nothing to do for an hour because work began at 2. *sigh. i hate it when routine goes awry and then i have nothing to do.

work was very fun today. i got to plug in my ipod today into the stereo so we bumped to my tunes for the shift today. but at the end, it was the hugest mistake ever. i’m actually kinda scared i might get fired for it. so i went for a pop run before i got off at five. a pop run is when you take a huge cart and you take the elevator down to the basement and get coke cans [like a hundred of them--all sorts] and bring them back up to the gift shop to stock. so i got all the soda and put a box of nantucket nectars on the top. nantucket nectars are glass bottles of juice. i think you can see what’s coming. i put them on the cart and take the elevator back up. when i push the cart out of the elevator, the wheel goes sideways and FALLS into the crack between the elevator and the floor and the whole cart tips and the box of juice goes CRASHING to the floor. seriously crashing. like loud-ass BANG GLASS FLIES EVERYWHERE crashing. *sigh. i’m starting to freak out at this point and on the verge of tears. so i go running to my co-worker and she’s pretty chill and handles stuff. but MY GOD, it was catastrophic. glass and juice and soda were everywhere. i really hope my boss doesn’t totally go bonkers over it and fire me because i’d be SO screwed. shitake.

and this happened toward the end of my shift, at 5pm, which is when i was HOPING to get off work a bit early so i could quickly run to the HUB for the VSA meeting. so i got off late, and RAN to the effing meeting. to realize it was standing room only and i was SWEATING SO MUCH. i felt so gross. ]:

it wasn’t a great day. now i have to finish chemistry and turn it in before 11:50pm. gahhh.

nothing to say.

my birthday was a sleeper hit. let’s just say, it involved being in a bed alot (:

we [the parents and me] planned to go to todai because i get free food right? and then we go and the dude is like “sorry. i’m going to have to give you a birthday voucher because in order to get the free meal, you need three paying customers” which i then said “nevermind” and walked away. i’m cheap and proud. plus. 29 dollars is not worth it for todai. i could potentially eat some very yummy sushi for 29 dollars a person. tch.

so this week has been pleasant so far. i’m trying to fight pending sleep but i think i will lose soon so this will just be a quick blog. i’m so tired.

just had work from seven am to 11 am today. it was fun excluding the part that i think my boss probably hates me because i’m a slacker. haha. but yes, it was fun.

we had the physics test which i really think i failed. miserably. and i totally overthought it and it was really quite simple too. so i don’t wanna talk about it.

other than that, i’m leaving. because i’m going to nap before physics class.

toodledoo.

friends4life.

running into people you know has got to be the most stressful thing in the world. especially when they’re not the type that you can totally blow off because you’ve probably spoken 3 words to them in your entire life. i’m talking about the type that you have to turn around inyour seat and crane your neck back to talk to them out of politeness because you actually care what they think about you. AND also because you know that if you’re not nice, they’ll probably hate you for the rest of your life and i wouldn’t want anyone to hate me for the rest of my/their life. seriously.

happened. twice today.

i guess it didn’t go too bad. *modifications of names are done for privacy sake.

mommy and me went to chinatown to get groceries and so ended up taking the first bus that headed downtown, downtown. coincidentally it was the 36 bus. that is, i  didn’t notice it was the 36 until i saw how many asians there were on there but anyways. I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE AVOIDED IT because i ALWAYS run into people i know when it’s the 36 because it runs through Beacon Hill … the “asian people” part of town. i ran into* jellybean, *vehicle, and *vietwah on there. we talked about school and uw and friends and why they were in chinatown and whatnot but all the time i was feeling ugly because she’s pretty with amazing skin and im all horrible and not amazing skin. and i do know how allycat is feeling because it seems like old guys are somehow all creepily attracted to me. AND crazy people because they talk to themselves and than all of a sudden the face me and say “how ya doing cutie.” *scuttles away really fast..*

anyways, yes her and vehicle were not that bad. they got off two stops after i got on with a “wanna come hang out with us?” which was really nice. it was actaully not that bad considering what went on between us in the past. girl drama and gossip and boys pretty much ended our friendship. but it was a somewhat nice reconciliation although i do still cringe are her bubbly-airhead way of talking and and eye rolling ><” after they got off, i settle into the somewhat cushiony seat of the bus to relax from self-conciousness when it was a “HEY! *tap tap on my head!*”

i turn around about to ask why they got on the bus again only to find myself facing HIM. a guy that i was somewhat interested but totally turned off after getting to know him a bit more. he’s okay. a sweet awkward kinda guy. we made good small talk and he said i look a bit like my mom so props to him for sucking up. [: it was a hi-bye conversation that last to part of the u district. he invited to me lucnh with his friend which was also nice.

...maybe i shouldn't be so mean to people i should get to know better? self-eval check, Hao. maybe i'm the problem in the friendship and shouldn't be so judgemental? =/ they're NOT THAT BAD. *sigh

i resolve to be a better friend in the future. i need to work on my social skills. maybe that's why i'm taking communications class? haha.

on the other side of things.

i will be playing tennis with my brother today.

i need to go to target to return their expensive flip flops and a pair of moccasins that were an impulse buy.

we are redo-ing the floor of our kitchen.

i am excited for epik high's new album that will indeed be illegally downloaded by me and spread by my mouth to others.

i want an upgrade for my phone but i am too lazy to actually go through the motions of it.

uw work study starts after labor day weekend

OH.

speaking of labor day weekend. sissy is coming up with baby tam tam! i have taken to calling her tam tam because it's adorable`. we're excited and everyones happy and i need to go effing clean the house because she's still hormonal [is she EVER going to stop?] and we’re throwing a party and people are coming over and then we have to go to another party thing and busy busy  busy. i still think the hair is sexy but she looks like a boy.

autobots! rollout!

my sleeping has been crazy wack lately. i sleep late. and then i wake up randomly in the middle of the night. and then back to sleep. and then wake up and then my alarm goes off cuz i forget to turn it off and this i press snooze repeatedly instead of turning it off cuz i’m so use to pressing snooze.

today today was bouncy butt numbness. i actually woke up at 9am. for no reason. my bladder wasn’t even full. and then i just mulled around and slept a little but it was that kind of in-and-out sleeping. and then around like 11am my brother opens the door and is like “hao. hao. hao. wanna go see a movie?” and im like “uh. yea.” cuz i “get to see only one movie a year or something…” (liz 6/27/09) (lol, i’m such a school nerd.)

so up i go dressing and brushing my teeth and leaving my dad a post-it on the counter that read: ba –@ southcenter with anh hai –hao. because i’m SUCH a good daughter and so use to being controlled and telling my parents where i go so they don’t freak out and call the cops slash call all my friends that they have numbers of slash go to my friends house and knock on the door and ask if they know where i am (the latter actually happened.).

southcenter it was. man the imax line was packed. but we managed to get tickets.

overall? movie rated: ehhhh.

first of all. yes, i know megan fox is pretty sizzlin’. like, very very very even-if-i-wasn’t-a-lesbian-i’d-expletive-her sizzlin’. running around in those boots and white pants that never get really dirty. yep. bet you all the guys in that audience were like “if only….”

but besides that, the sound was a bit too loud for me and the whole movie made me a bit headache-y. sad right? considering how much i adore transformers and the hot robot metal sex they have when they grapple and wrestle with each other. and the close-ups of optimus prime transforming? ROBOT P0RN! and yes, i typed that “o” as a zero just to emphasize some geekness. (:

but unlike the first one, the plot was quite thin. i mean, what does the sliver of the all-spark that was with mikela end up doing. just staying in her bag?  and i mean, the whole part with alice hunting (literally) down sam was a bit carried out. and scenes that we absolutely unneeded and added just for stupid slapstick amteur teenage boy humor. yes, i’m talking about the taser to the balls and the TOTALLY UNNESSARY closeup of that sector 7 man’s ass in a thong (very little cellulite i must say..) and you know what got the 7 year old boy laughing his ass off in the row in front of me? the part when mikeala landed on that leo’s “testicles” when they portkeyed (yes! harry potter terminology!) to the desert.

but the most important part is when i cried. yes, i cried. i mean WHO CAN SIT THERE STONEFACED WHEN OPTIMUS PRIME IS BEING RIPPED APART MAN! HE DIEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD. *starts tearing up again*

but then he came back to life! with like upgrades from the old man! and it was awesome again!

[:

it was a bit long, that’s all. all action in the last…30 minutes. running and shooting. but oh well, it was still sexy.

independent girl.

yes! i will finally be able to decline the guy and say “no thanks, but i can change my own tire!” when i break down on the freeway. beat that all you chivalrous guys who think that girls know nothing about cars! psh.

i can now:

• change the tires when i get a flat…or when i need to change them
• check the oil
• change my brakes
• recharge the battery when it dies (using jumper cables!)
• put chains on my tires

yea-yuh. and all this when i don’t even have a driving permit (but i have a car!). i feel satisfied. at least i know i’ll be saving money. and next on the list? learning how to change oil. it’s just that none of the cars need oil changing yet for me to learn.

—-

this is from basically what i did today. man, i have callouses on my hands from lifting and cranking (is that what it’s call?) and turning and jacking up the car and … yea. my back is KILLING ME. and so are my arms. my skinny skinny arms lifting fat tires. ugh.

dad taught me how to change brakes today. though it was more like, he was heading out to change brakes and i wanted to learn and then i ended up doing everything. i jacked up the cars 7 times. 4 of them because we had to check each tire. and i took off the tires and put them underneath the car as safety usually tells you too. and unscrewed the rusty ass bolts (we had to use WD-40* hella.) that held the brakes because it’s a hella old ass car. and changed the brakes and smear on that lube stuff and in the end, i used Goop to clean my hands. voila!

and..god. it was just so fun and i swear, 3 hours never went by so fast.

i think that every girl needs to know how to do stuff like that because if you don’t, you’ll always end up relying on Triple A or other people. i mean, are you always going to call the tow truck or Triple A or someone to change a tire on the freeway when you get a flat? what if you’re in an area that has no reception. i mean, i guess it’s just one of those need-to-know-just-in-case kind of things. don’t be the princess that needs rescuing. it’s stupid.

i feel utterly satisfied today because i woke up at 2pm. cleaned the bathroom. ate lunch. and then did the whole car thing. and then ate dinner. and now i’m here. i don’t know. i guess it’s nothing special to the outer world, but i feel good. so whatever~

i am now just so freaking tired. so. movietime. and then sleep.

laters!

ya, it’s sun-day

sun sun sun sun. 

it’s a mighty fine day so far. i washed 2 cars and now we’re about to go biking on alki (or maybe coulon. iono) 

it’s about the be the shizz.

and and and

 

i chased down the ice cream van (yes, it was a nissan quest.) and bought my favorite childhood ice cream. the one that i alwasy begged my parents money for but i was too expensive so i always had to deal and get the cheapo fudge bar or whatnot. but it’s the spiderman ice cream. and as a kid, the spiderman ice cream meant you were cool because you got two gumballs to eat (his eyes are gumballs). though today, i ate the gumballs and i spat them out because they’re gross as hell. but who cares. cheers to reminiscing of childhood. ho hum, if only ally was here. i’m itching for some badminton in the street (:

post-ice-cream pictures. i ate the thing pretty fast. i mean, cleaning cars is HARD, man. hence my oiliness and my horrible outfit. but hecks, i don’t care. yay spiderman ice cream! (two bucks down the drain. lol.)

 

anyways, i will write more after biking. we’re leaving now. 

i also have raccoon pics to post. he’s suck a cutie. i call him muck. i don’t know why.

zits? check. menstrating? check. body healthy? ehh..maybe.

You know. I think I’ll write my about my past in spurts just because I’m too lazy to actually sit down and write a huge ass one down.  It’s 12:13am and I’m just so tired and the only reason I’m up is that I have to wait like, 20-30 mins after washing my face to apply tretinoin cream on. Which really sucks. There’s mounds of zits on my face. I’ve been PMSing the last week and I always get horrible outbreaks during my period which just kills me. And it’s not even on my face, more like JUST MY FOREHEAD. And it’s all greasy and grossness. And during the crucial time in which I have been able to look cute Communications guy in the face and ask him “how do you say Hi in Korean” (btw, it’s like anh-yo or something. But oh his accent is so cute. It’s all light and feathery like a girl.

Anyways, where we were. Ah, yes. My period. The lovely blood gushing out between your legs. Oh sweet womanhood. The joys of stuffing cotton between your legs (or up them, which ever method of controlling you prefer). Woot woot!

Naw, you don’t want to hear about that. But since this blog is so far being written about the body, I might as well make that the theme of it.

So as I’ve written, I think I have…if not then here’s a first, I’ve been taking Yoga. And boy, that class has been just absolutely amazing. The first two days were a PAIN IN THE ASS, I swear. But now, it’s just. So relaxing and for all the people that label Yoga as a not an “exercise” and as weak and whatnot (comparative to what, weight lifting?), you’re pretty much wrong. Unlike other forms of exercise, I found that yoga works on EVERYTHING. Your stomach, ass, chest, arms, legs, EVERYTHING. And when I’m not sweating in that class, I can feel the warmth and the stress I’m putting on my body. It’s just pure amazing. After class, I’m just totally chillaxed and zoned out and just so…free. And I swear that class is making me more passive (which can be a bad/good thing. I don’t know). I’m just more, whatever now. At least, for a while. (:

And relatable to Yoga, we talk about a lot of the body parts we use and at the same time, I’ve been learning about those same body parts in A&P.

A&P? Anatomy and Physiology? Hands down my hardest class in my schedule. I’m nanaging a 3.2 and I’m so disappointed. But hopefully I will be able to raise it up with some hard work. But knowing what’s next in that class (respiratory system..woot woot!) i’m so screwed. Shitake!

SIDETRACKED————

My boyfriend just called. Lol. He’s down in Chinatown karaoking. Go Venus! At least, that’s the only karaoking place I know that’s in Chinatown. If I was karaoking today, right now, I’d probably be dead. As much as I love karaoking (or doing anything that’s OUTSIDE my house), tonight, I just feel. Tired. Like I have for the past …week. It’s quite somber actually. I don’t know why. So so so tired. I’m writing this as I lay in bed waiting (only 5 more mins ‘til tretinoin applying time!) and I jut want to crawl up and sleep forever. But sadly, no. We have stuff to do! Like write this blog. Doiy. (Is that how you spell it? DOY-EE)

We have some Vietnamese event thing to go to (With the parents of course, but that’s okay because I don’t mind my parents as much as I use to) for something and then we have to swing by temple because we missed Le Phat Dan (Buddha’s birthday) so we have to stop by and light some incense and pray, y’know? Yes, I’m such a dedicated Buddhist. Can you hear the sarcasm? Not that I don’t like my religion…I love temple. I wish we went more. The chanting is cool (just like Yoga class). Wow, yes, I’m quite blasé about my religion, don’t hate. Anyways, where was I? Oh yea, and then we’re going to Bac Hao’s house! Family friend who’s name is Hao too. They’re the awesomest couple and have two boys in there 20s who are super into Christian (Catholic maybe?) school and are like super involved in their church and teach religion and stuff there too. I mean, I hate them for having a passion//talent. But I haven’t seen them in ages. I’ll probably scare them off with my craterface ): But the wife makes is a SUPER TALENTED baker. She used to make my birthday cakes for me and they were deliciousness. And she makes pies and cupcakes and she knits SO WELL too. My mom is always envious of her. So am I. ^^ But we’re visiting them tomorrow because they have friends over and they’re friend’s babies and yay, baby party!

Speaking of babies, my sister is having gestational diabetes. I sound smart when I say that but like hell I know what that means. Haha. All I know is that she had to cut down her carb//sugar intake by A LOT and so my sister is basically starving now because she’s so use to eating a lot and getting fat (she’s gained like 15 pounds for the pregnancy, which I don’t think is a lot? I have no idea…never been pregnant). But she’s complaining about not being able to eat her mocha ice cream and avocado shakes after dinner and I genuinely feel bad because I know my sister loves to eat…

 

 

Well, way to have this be a spurt of a blog and focused on “the body”. Hey, in some ways it was. =D. Time for some good ol’ sleep. I will see YOU, tomorrow. Promise *pinky swear*.

 

****BTW: I wrote this on Microsoft Word to be transferred to WordPress because my brother has taken over our dialup. So I will post this ASAP. Probably tomorrow morning.

***IT IS NOW 12:43AM.

^^

 

**EDIT: posted 1:54 the next day. i’m at the store.

baby, let’s get outta here~

rejuvenated! i am feeling chipper annd happy.

i hate fluorescent lights because they apply this weird pressure on your head and makes everything scary looking O___o” that’s why my room has those nice yellow warm glowing lights. and my heaters running. and im listening to bennie k and m-flo croon about escaping.  and i’m just taking my time to study for amer. govt.

i had a photoshoot today. “photoshoot”. xD it was sooo fun and funny at the same time. central library downtown ! man, getting lost in that library has never been funner (not a word but screw that ^^). many laughs. many jokes. many punches and kicks. it was so awesome. i cannooooooooooooot wait to see the pictures. christmas came early? XD eeeeeee! okay, now im just turning into a squabbling giddy girl. but it was super amazingly fun. i can’t help but giggle.

it was interesting because i was saying today how WE’RE NOT SAFE ANYWHERE. NOT EVEN IN OUR HOUSE. after reading that news article about how a plane crashed into some sandiego homes and killed 3 people. and to think that southcenter mall was already bad (sikes! i would still go there if i could). but yea. WATCH OUT FOR PLANES THAT MIGHT SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTS OVER YOUR HOUSE AND PELT YOU WITH SHARDS OF METAL AND KILL YOU. (= im so morbid.

btw, yknow how Oprah has that annual favorite things for christmas special? and how she gives out hella stuff every year on that special to her audience? well guess what, SHE DIDN’T GIVE ANYTHING THIS YEAR. AHAHHAAH. suckkkkers. though i feel so bad because we all know those woman probably waited 5 years to get tickets for that show and expect something in return. i mean it’s her CHRISTMAS SPECIAL. but she freaking gave away her BOOK CLUB book. ROFL. man, those women probably wanna pelt her with her own books.

its beginning to look a lot like christmas. every where you go..

hm, i think all i want for christmas is so cliche. to walk around downtown at night with all the lights on with my beloved? and maaaaaaybe a bit of snow to make it more cheesier. hehe. but alas, that will never happen until i’m like 24 or something. *sigggggh. a girl can dream still right? but anyways, i wanna check out the lights downtown. apparently there isn’t as much this year though… =( sadness.

two more days of school. then all the college apps i can afford! woohoo! xD then cali. that should be relaxxxxxxxxxxxing. and then. school. but yea, three and half week is def. good.  yaaaay.