such a pity.

so what if life is unbearable right now.

so what if i failed my chemistry exam.

so what if it was the lowest grade i’ve ever gotten on an exam in ANY class so far. it even beats my physics!

i feel like a horrible failure right now. chem class with khakimova is EASY. i aced the first exam with flying colors. i know this stuff. okay, so maybe the last exam was on gases which we HARDLY covered in villarba’s at SCCC. i had my physics and chem exam on the same day so i couldn’t very well study for both. of course, sydney pointed out that for how much time and effort i’ve been putting into physics, there hasn’t been much result. thanks…thanks a lot.

so maybe i should refocus? step back and take a breather. it IS thanksgiving weekend afterall. it’s not going to be good thing if i continuously stress over something that’s already happened. my labs are going great and my homework is as well, so i should still get an A albeit a low one. i think it’s just this whole pre-med thing that’s getting to my head. honestly, i really don’t know what i want to do with my life. pre-med just seems…so far off and so…hard. and everytime i get frustrated or denied something while arguing with my parents, i just cry. just like how i cry when i can’t deal with my emotions and when they get the best of me, haha, hao’s such a wuss. i’ve always been put on this path to become a doctor. not to mention having people around me reinforce that i can become a doctor puts extra pressure. “what if i don’t want to become a doctor,” i once said to my parents. they pretty much said “that’s not going to happen”. but then again, i have no idea what i WANT to do if i didn’t become a doctor. i really like…i don’t know what i like. i have this friend. he’s so go-with-the-flow i’m completely enamoured by his passion for life and to do the things he wants to do. i feel like he’s really got of hang of it, y’know?

me: what do you want to career-wise?

him: i don’t know. we’ll see.

me: what?!?

him: well with a degree in business and economics, i’m bound to be able to do something. but we’ll see when it comes.

which is true. he’s really smart and he works for it, staying up hecka late to study and being diligent. i admire his responsibility. and he does all this while holding down a part time job too. but it’s not like he’s not some socially awkward introvert that spends all his time studying and working… he also finds the time for his friends ( like our lunch!). right now he’s taking korean just because he likes the language, which has led him to applying to study abroad in Korea for a semester. i’m so jealous, i asked him what he wants to do afterwards and he says maybe he’ll spend a year after he graduates teaching english in Korea. i mean, DUDE, that’s just fabulous. while i’m sitting here, wasting my life away with a path that i don’t even know how i feel about… it’s just hard not to get jealous.

but the thing is, it’s not as if i’m NOT happy with being the idea of becoming a doctor. it’d be great honestly. it’s not as if it’s a bad thing. and who knows, i might love it. but i’m afraid that the reason i’m thinking it’s such a great thing is because that’s all i’ve known my entire life. it’s like…wired into my brain to have this notion  towards being a doctor in the first place. *sigh.

….it’s interesting how much this chem score really bugs me. my head is just pounding and i literally want to throw up. i’m continuously swallowing to keep anything from emerging from the depths of my stomach. i hate this. and this was the score after a curve too! ><”

not to mention, the stress of choosing classes and my upcoming vietnam trip. and how my boss literally sent out an email saying that taking food to eat from the gift shop without paying for it is basically stealing when EVERYONE does it and i feel as if it’s directed at me because she probably hates me. yes, life is not flowing well right now.

even a nice hot shower didn’t help.

i’m sad. i’ll go to sleep now.

breezing by.

last monday i was fine. and then I got killer sick that night.

tuesday. work from 7-1 was killer. i was chugging down Emergen-C like my life depended on in (basically).

No seriously, I was dying. and then I had a PHYSICS midterm that same day.

Yea, as IF I’m going to pass THAT one. I’m LUCKY if I even get 6 points (one multiple choice question worth) out of 100. Yep, THAT BAD. I didn’t have a tissue throughout the exam too so I was sniffling and WIPING MY SNOT on my sleeve. Yes, very attractive. Diana was like “Yea, your boyfriend would totally love you right now” which just made me feel worse. *Sigh.

So I went home. I FORGOT I had another class that same day. Stupid quiz section after Physics on Tuesdays. Ugh. I was so irritated because we were suppose to get back our midterms that day and I totally forgot. But hey, I was sick and I just wanted to get the hell home and go to sleep.

Wednesday was not any better. I skipped Chemistry class, telling my friends to cover for me. Thank god I switch clickers off with Sydney, otherwise I would lose clicker points and I CANNOT afford to lose clicker points in that class anymore.  It’s because we sit on the balcony and the machine hates people who sit on the balcony and never likes to accept our clickers. =/ And so I slept most of the day. And I actually forgot my Comm class started at 11:30 and not 12:30 like I initially thought until I was like “wait….me and sydney bowl until 11:30 usually…”. I missed the bus and ended up making it only one minute late to the class. Luckily, there were hecka people late because it was pouring rain and sad. And so we took our midterm. I wasn’t so worried about Comm class because it’s easy to understand and comprehend the shtuff he talks about but it’s just a lot of shtuff. Turns out, I did a lot better than I initially thought. I was hoping for a mid-B, but I actually got a 90%. A low A, but an A nonetheless. (: Anyways, I had work that same day, 2-5 and I was dying the entire time and coughing and sniffling my ass out. And I skipped VSA meeting too which I didn’t really want to do but I had to because because of daylight savings, it’s like, completely dark at 5pm now and I really didn’t want to walk all the way through campus while being sick and unaware of my surroundings when it was so dark out. Maybe in two weeks. So I went home. And slept.

That night my parents made me do this asian sauna thing where you boil lemongrass and put in a little green eucalyptus oil into the water and swirl it around and then you cover yourself with a blanket and steam over the pot. I felt a bit better but I was still congested so I don’t think it worked. I just pretty much sat there sweating my ass off literally. It was a pool of sweat by the end and I had to mop of the floor with my towel :[

Thursday. I cancelled lunch with an old friend whom I haven't seen in foreverrrrr. I felt bad because we planned it about two weeks in advance but I was too sick. I ended up making plans with another friend for a massage.

Matt has been studying massage as a hobby of his for a while, and a few months back, I read a public posting recruiting up people to try his techniques on. Of course I volunteered and it was his birthday present for me =)

Let's just say it was the most amazing experience I've ever had with someone's hands on my body ;] He was completely professional about it, wearing a blindfold and whatnot. I came wearing jeans and a long sleeve but he wanted as much skin baring so I had to borrow a pair of shorts and a cami from Kathryn to shimmy into. And I laid face down on his little curved pillow and covered myself with the sheet thing. It was first just regular rubbing and feeling up and down my back for little bumps of tension and stuff. Apparently I’m super stiff and I had a hard time just relaxing. And then when he applied the pressure with his elbow or hand or whatever (I don’t know because I was facedown), it hurt but it was the kind of good hurt…you know? and then he used this really cool tingly cream over me (it smelled good!) and then pulled out my arms and my legs. It was…just amazing. And by then, I was kind of going in and out of falling asleep. All I remember after that was him putting a towel on me and laying these hot stones on my back and I just passed out. Seriously. He said for half an hour? And when I was semi concious, all I could hear was my phone vibrating. Lol. I had to ask Matt to text back my friends because I was just soo….out of it.

I seriously think that was what made me better because I feel goooooood the next day. Now I just have occasional sniffles and little coughs but my body feels so. much. better. I must take him out for the lunch the next time I see him. ^^

On Friday, it was a girl’s afternoon out filled with bowling and DDR and very horrible three table ping pong. We made a huge ruckus and were really loud but it was very fun and kept my mind off things for a while.

The weekend was good. Sister came up. My parents had a party to go to Saturday night so I went out with my sister and her friends. We had a good time. Dinner and then Dilettante’s. They’re taking me out devirginizing my clubginity when my parents are away in VN. =) I’m excited. I came home and just crashed because alcohol makes me so sleepy and we walked a lot and it was cold outside and so warm underneath my covers.

Today was a quiet day filled with lot’s of baby pictures and cuddling with Tamtam. She’s just adorableeeee now. Her chubchub cheeks and her blowing of raspberries. <3

On the love side of my life, I’ve been really strained lately. Long distance relationships really do suck, no matter how much faith you put into it, hoping it will work out. Things never go as planned right? Anyways, it’s through tough times that friends come through and provide the support you need and comfort you through all the tears you cry. I know I don’t have many close friends but I do love the small circle that I do have. My problems mainly have been petty girl things such as jealousy and pangs of sadness but it’s all due to the fact that I’m here and he’s there. It’s not that I don’t trust him. I really do. But of course, I can’t help feeling the way I do because it’s just hard. But I was able to talk through some of it tonight after being pretty much pressured into it (thanks, person.). Apparently, I’m suppose to tell him everything I feel? I know it sounds pretty “duh” when you write it down but sometimes you’re just scared of losing the person if you reveal to them how much you really care. I didn’t want to. Truthfully, I’ve never been really good with controlling my emotions. I suppress them and hide them away from the people they directly impact. Some people say that jealousy means that you care. If your boyfriend/girlfriend never got jealous, that’s not good. I wonder if he even ever gets jealous. And speaking of showing you care, how do you should you care if you’re in a long distance relationship? (I feel like being Natalie Tran and saying “post your comments at the bottom of this page”. HAH.) Actually, I’m quite creative and I have a million ideas of how I would do it. But for some reason, I doubt he would have any creative ideas. Lol. It’s a million to one in terms of guys like that. And it’s funny to think that the one guy that was creative ended up being a guy that I couldn’t be with. *shrugs. Life is that way I guess.

I had a good weekend honestly. Chocolate + cuteness overload. Thanksgiving this year should be fabulous as well. (:

fawk.

i think it would suck to die in a desert . it really would. dying by dehydration seems like the worst way to die. slowwwww.

anyways, guess who’s coming back tomorowwwwwwwwww! precisely landing on seattle ground at noon. *sings gee by snsd*. makes me giddy ~

but then again, it’s not as if i’ll be able to see him because some things didn’t go the way they were planned. but it’s still better to feel is…presence in seattle? shit, what am i talking about. lol. crying about it won’t mean i will be able to miraculously somehow see him. it’s doomed right? also considering he’s going to ucla and whatnot. which i shouldn’t continue to rag on him about because it really is a better choice than ucla. i’ll let it go. along with everything that’s been happening these past few days.

favors are things you ask from friends that you hope they will be able to do for you. when does the line between a favor and using someone gets crossed? when in return, you do nothing for them. but what if that was because they just never asked? are you able to still ask them for favors? friendship is a two-way street and of course, being a good friend requires both ways. but it’s funny how it was actually all along not about me because it was decided that her day was more important if she were to do something. toxic relationships are good for no one. but whatever.

being mad just raises my high cholesterol. i don’t want to die from an aneurysm. which i could potentially die from considering my family’s death rates. that, or the bump that is emerging on my right side and that i have to freaking go see the radiologist about again. HOPEFULLY it’s just a inflammed lymph node like they suspect. due to my high killer flea bites that have yet to disappear. i swear, bugs just hate me.

so i called the doctor to get a regular flu shot and they’re like..”we won’t have it until october” which is really weird considering pharmacies already have it..? i guess i’ll end up suffering until the swine flu vaccine is available. i really hope i don’t get sick though due to the HELLA SHIT i have for classes ALREADY. even before they started, i’m expected to read that obama book and 25 pages of this thing some lady wrote. and that’s for communications only. *sigh. college life, hello! and OMG SWINE FLU AT UW. *freaking out*

but i’m stoked. i’m counting how many froyo places there are on the Ave and plan to try every one of them.

last min notes before i conk out for the night.

- kitchen is done!

- huskies go! for tomorrow’s game

-hope shawn’s flight doesn’t die

-vulvodynia sucks! fighting ~

-SHAWN’S BACK. OMFG. I WISH.. *SIGH.

crossdressing babies?

what if i dressed my baby boy in pink? what would people think.

baby tam looks a bit like a boy so my sister has to dress her up in all pink outfits. and EVEN then, asian people always ask “boy or girl?” because guess what, WE’RE NOT AMERICAN.

asian people don’t think in that “pink for girls. blue for boys” idea that all americans believe in. my mom still forgets that because it’s not engrained in OUR societal norms. we hardly have money for decent clothes, so don’t even get started about choosing a COLOR for clothes. what if i wanted to dress my baby in purple. or green. should i stick a big fat bow on her head just to label her as a “girl”?

and actually, on a saturday night when we’re all boozed up and high on a feeling of familyness [we had a party with friends and presents and good food], there was a conversation about how people are always saying “AWWW WHAT A CUTE BABY” when they see someone’s baby. a family friend said that it is said so much that it has become JADED and now there is truly no feeling to those words because it practically said for EVERY baby. but my question is are there ugly babies out there? because i truly haven’t seen an ugly baby. all babies are cute to me and i mean, some of them are absolutely gorgeous because of their long eyelashes/puffy cheeks/pouty lips/whatever makes babies super cute, but if they lacked these “cute” features, does that label them as an UGLY baby? it’s so mean to start judging people by appearances when they’re SO YOUNG. it’s just…MEAN. what kind of human goes up to a baby and thinks in their head “god what an ugly baby.” be ashamed of yourself.

—-

happy labor day everyone. my weekend has absolutely been splendid. there was that family party thing on saturday. truthfully, i was dreading it because i knew that everyone would be fawning all over my sister and her baby [as always, SHE is the gorgeous perfect daughter/asian] and i just hate it when i’m casted as the ugly little sister that should BE LIKE HER OLDER SISTER.  >< how many times have i completely gone mentally insane over my mom wishing i was more like my sister? too may times to count.. *sigh. anyways, it ended up being great. i cannot stress how much i love the baby. i just love holding her. i never got to do this with my nephews because they live so far away but baby Tam is just adorableee.

and then on sunday, there was party we had to go to because our family friend’s son’s son is one year old so there was a party thing at Jumbo Restaurant. typical Vietnamese to throw a huge party because their son graduated from med school and their grandson is one years old. showoff asians. god so much food too. it all tasted the same after the 3 dish because it was a chinese restaurant though.. and of course, everyone fawned over how GORGEOUS my sister is after giving birth.

OH THERE WAS A HUGE DISS PART  THOUGH.

man [ to my sister] : well u look like your mom so very gorgeous.

man [offside to me]: you look like your dad!

><”

horrible.

and then today, i watched House of Flying Daggers for the first time ever. it’s a great movie. i liked a lot, especially the visuals which were amazing. that green bamboo forest? and the wintery blizzard scene? =D and the love story was tragic and i was crying in the end, naturally.

and then i went to target where i was uninterested in anything but food. clothes don’t attract me anymore. it’s sad.

anyways, gotta work tomorrow at 7am! dad’s redoing the kitchem floor this week. ]:

friends4life.

running into people you know has got to be the most stressful thing in the world. especially when they’re not the type that you can totally blow off because you’ve probably spoken 3 words to them in your entire life. i’m talking about the type that you have to turn around inyour seat and crane your neck back to talk to them out of politeness because you actually care what they think about you. AND also because you know that if you’re not nice, they’ll probably hate you for the rest of your life and i wouldn’t want anyone to hate me for the rest of my/their life. seriously.

happened. twice today.

i guess it didn’t go too bad. *modifications of names are done for privacy sake.

mommy and me went to chinatown to get groceries and so ended up taking the first bus that headed downtown, downtown. coincidentally it was the 36 bus. that is, i  didn’t notice it was the 36 until i saw how many asians there were on there but anyways. I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE AVOIDED IT because i ALWAYS run into people i know when it’s the 36 because it runs through Beacon Hill … the “asian people” part of town. i ran into* jellybean, *vehicle, and *vietwah on there. we talked about school and uw and friends and why they were in chinatown and whatnot but all the time i was feeling ugly because she’s pretty with amazing skin and im all horrible and not amazing skin. and i do know how allycat is feeling because it seems like old guys are somehow all creepily attracted to me. AND crazy people because they talk to themselves and than all of a sudden the face me and say “how ya doing cutie.” *scuttles away really fast..*

anyways, yes her and vehicle were not that bad. they got off two stops after i got on with a “wanna come hang out with us?” which was really nice. it was actaully not that bad considering what went on between us in the past. girl drama and gossip and boys pretty much ended our friendship. but it was a somewhat nice reconciliation although i do still cringe are her bubbly-airhead way of talking and and eye rolling ><” after they got off, i settle into the somewhat cushiony seat of the bus to relax from self-conciousness when it was a “HEY! *tap tap on my head!*”

i turn around about to ask why they got on the bus again only to find myself facing HIM. a guy that i was somewhat interested but totally turned off after getting to know him a bit more. he’s okay. a sweet awkward kinda guy. we made good small talk and he said i look a bit like my mom so props to him for sucking up. [: it was a hi-bye conversation that last to part of the u district. he invited to me lucnh with his friend which was also nice.

...maybe i shouldn't be so mean to people i should get to know better? self-eval check, Hao. maybe i'm the problem in the friendship and shouldn't be so judgemental? =/ they're NOT THAT BAD. *sigh

i resolve to be a better friend in the future. i need to work on my social skills. maybe that's why i'm taking communications class? haha.

on the other side of things.

i will be playing tennis with my brother today.

i need to go to target to return their expensive flip flops and a pair of moccasins that were an impulse buy.

we are redo-ing the floor of our kitchen.

i am excited for epik high's new album that will indeed be illegally downloaded by me and spread by my mouth to others.

i want an upgrade for my phone but i am too lazy to actually go through the motions of it.

uw work study starts after labor day weekend

OH.

speaking of labor day weekend. sissy is coming up with baby tam tam! i have taken to calling her tam tam because it's adorable`. we're excited and everyones happy and i need to go effing clean the house because she's still hormonal [is she EVER going to stop?] and we’re throwing a party and people are coming over and then we have to go to another party thing and busy busy  busy. i still think the hair is sexy but she looks like a boy.

can you hear me now?

Yes I can but I’ll pretend I don’t.

Seriously, whaaa?  I have the best friends I swear. Love them much but sometimes they just tick you off. But then again, it’s kind of like “taste of your own medicine” right? Considering how shitty my phone etiquette is. Telling people and then never calling them, I mean. My voicemail probably starts sounding like a lie the 3^rd time through because it says I’ll call them back ASAP when my as soon as possible is two days later. But the person didn’t leave a voicemail! I don’t get annoyed when people don’t call me back. At least I leave an urgent message or something if I really needed them. Or called them 10 times in a row like a certain person did to me.

Anyways, yes. Phone calling is tricky for me even when it shouldn’t be.  JUST PICK UP THE PHONE HAO. That’s all I need to do.  How easy.

We went car hunting today ALL DAY. It was probably the most exasperating tiring annoying stressful thing I have done yet so far. AND IT WASN’T A CAR FOR ME EITHER. My parents wanted to take advantage of the Cash for Clunkers program thingy that is ending this Monday. WAY TO PROVE THAT MY PARENTS ARE FLAKY PROCRASTINATORS. We wanted to trade in our Quest [which has a value of basically…2K] because then it’d be a good deal since we could trade it in with a value of $4,500. And as expected, a lot of the dealers don’t even do the program anymore because they’re backlogged with paperwork for it. So my parents wanted somewhat of a nice car like that Lexus humpback one…I don’t know what model it is but it’s the SUV one. But they don’t have the moola for it. So of course being the Asians we are, we go for the knockoffs! Toyota Venza was number once, followed by the Nissan Murano, and then the Toyota RAV4. But really, we wanted the Venza. So after calling many many many many many…many places, we found the Toyota in AUBURN still does the program and that they still had Venzas. A lot of Venzas. I think we saw 6 on their lot? Well, typical Mom and Dad. We weren’t able to GET ONE. Mom doesn’t like the color of the cheapest one and the others were too expensive and Dad wants GPS when I think navigation is a total joke because it adds approx. 2K to the price of the vehicle but you buy it as an attachment at stores for…most expensive, $500? RIDICULOUS. Anyways, we ended up driving ALL THE WAY TO BELLEVUE for the stupid Nissan dealer there only to find they sold their last okay-priced Murano [35K] and only had their upper-packed Murano’s left [41K]. Okay, too much. Bye bye dealership. No we don’t want to leave our name but we’ll take your sales card just to be nice.

Car salesman: What color do YOU want?

Me: I don’t care really.

Car salesman:  WOW. A female that doesn’t have a particular color choice? Amazing.

I DON’T CARE. I mean, if they were the same price and the only thing that separated them were the color, than it would boil down to color preference. But I’d really just want a good car, good price, looks decent. But then again, I wouldn’t want a color like pastel purple right? *shrugs. I’m quite happy with my Maxima.

So then we went to a family friend’s dinner thing where my dad drank and my talked about having kids with all the other moms and I was shoved in the corner with little kids that I didn’t want to play with. And so I called up my friends to talk and was rejected numerous times. One rejection. One hang up. One busy.

THANK GOD FOR KENNETH CORDOBA. [:

Thanks for the bags of YUMMMMMMY cookies from Guam and the Gelly Roll pens {MY FAVORITE!] even if they WERE just in black. =D And for keeping me from sliding into a depression-like state of lack of friends while keeping me in touch with my reality of non-popularity at the same time. It’s a fine line to keep, but somehow you did it. Haha. And it’s always nice to talk about relationships and differences and similiarities and life and school and us and whatnot. ^^ Thankszzzz buddy.

And then I GOT TO DRIVE MY PARENTS HOME. Only because my dad was a bit drunk of course. But I drove nonetheless. I was a bit shocked because it was pitch black but hey, who cares.

My dad drove out of the driveway and then he turned to me and said “You wanna drive home?”

*insert joyous woop here.*

JK. I played it cool of course. “Okay.”

They were mightily impressed with my driving home and I even parked okay in my hella tight driveway! My dad was like “what’d you do in Iowa. Drive and sleep?” haha. Now he’s going to teach me how to park on hills [it is SEATTLE afterall.] and parallel park [WHICH I DREAD.]

So yes, it was an okay night. I was hoping to volunteer at Night Market but I don’t mind now. [:

We were meant to go camping but we ended up not going because one of the people who was going with us accidentally chainsawed his leg because he was chopping trees. Same guy that ended up throwing the dinner party. Haha. He showed me leg and I was like “COOL.” And he laughed.

I mean, dude. It was a CHAINSAW.

Crazy.

open ended questions.

so it’s my last staying up til 3am night of the summer because why the hell would i stay up til 3am in Seattle. the only reason i stay up late here is because of the blazzzzzin’ wifi so i am able to watch my porn in peace when everyone is sleeping. jk. more like, i talk to shawn.

— speaking of shawn. im a tad bit ticked because he said he would be online to talk to me tonight since it IS my last night of fast webcamming and whatnot which i won’t be able to do in Seattle. but he didn’t show. so i called him via Skype — more on that later — to see what’s up and he’s at a friends house? wtf? i mean, okay. i try not to be the clingy type but maybe i am! did i NOT tell him that i get DIALUP in seattle? gah. i know i’m being pesky but i just really would like to see him for the last time for a while. IM NEEDY. rawh. —-

and then i indulge in my allkpop.com [which i do realize gets news way faster than popseoul. but popseoul gets more cynical and funny and totally biased] and my online shopping and my youtube. bytheway, i stumbled upon this guy on youtube because of the “top watched” videos of the day.

peter chao? http://www.youtube.com/user/pyrobooby

he’s…i don’t know! i mean, he’s clearly faking that accent and he’s just…irritating as “fahk”. but i don’t know why i just had to watch most of his videos! i mean, its like profanity x10. and when i watch it, it’s just like “………o…my…god…what the hell am i watching…” and its just…so…i don’t know! people say you have to be able to laugh at yourself, but he takes that FOB stereotype to the fullest extreme. i cringe watching it but i can’t stop. it’s like that car crash on the freeway that you HAVE to slow down to see everytime and say “wow, i wonder if anyone died” to. okay i don’t know what kind of analogy that was but, all i’m trying to say is that he’s so crude but so freaking ridiculous.

but yes, it’s my last evening, night, whatever in Iowa. im going to miss it but i need to go back to my room im Seattle as well. my vacation here has ending with a in a spray painting daze. i got these rainboots at a garage sale and they fit amazingly but they’re just pink. really really really barbie pink. so i decided to do what any person would do to shoes they don’t like the color of [besides not buy them] — i spray painted them black. though it was more like my brother who spray painted them for me. i just stuck on dots and the paint tape on places that i didn’t want to get black. now they look like some random army boots i got from at trash can. haha, jk. they’re drying so i actually don’t know. we’ll see how they turn out. they were only five dollars so that’s okay if they don’t turn out so great.

i also watched harry potter tonight. overall, i would say it’s an okay movie. i understood what alysonman meant when she said it was boring, then good, then boring, then good. my brother [who has never read any of the books] said he liked it because there was more action. and i must admit, there was more action. the romance was quite stifling though. and what the heck was with the whole ron weasley’s house being burnt down part. err, was that in the book? i mean, what the heck? just adding in random scenes for the hell of it? it felt more like running around for no point. and i was looking forward to all the dueling that was suppose to happen in the castle and the fighting back against the death eaters thing. students against bad guys! i mean, where was all that?!? just harry running around chasing snape down?

— on a very lighter note, hermione granger is looking absolutely gorgeous in that movie. [: im absolutely intrigued where she got that SO SO cute peacoat. the checked one she wore a lot paired with the scarves.if anyone knows, please drop a line please?! 

for the skyping topic, i just did my very first phone call via skype and it was crystal clear! it was quite funny because shawn absolutely did not know who the hell i was at first so he talked to me in chinese [wei? wei? ni wei?] and im like “its hao you dodo.”. but yes, i am thinking about geting DSL for my house because i figured i’ll be needing to get faster internet for school. it’s an easy argument for me to give to my parents too. they’d rather have me study at home then at the library at UW. haha. but yes, maybeeeee sometime soon i won’t have to wait half an hour to load a MV from Big Bang.

also, night market for seattle is coming up. i’m considering asking my parents if i can volunteer with VSA there since i am now joined as a member. it should be fun and a good way for me to be introduced in with the people. i’m serious about joining too and maybe hopefully becoming an official in the future? VSA is Vietnamese Students Association. Night market is this thing held in the summer in the International District which is basically a mini fair with lots of food vendors and a night movie showing on a big projector set outside. it’s just simple fun.

well, it’s 3:30 am so i will head to sleep now. just packing up tomorrow so nothing so busy. i will definitely miss my late night eating out at taco bell or steak n shake and watching movies. and playing scrabble and upwords [amazingly competitive.] but i’m ready to head home. i can’t wait for school to start!

…even though you’ll be hearing about how much i can’t wait for break to start 5 days into the school year. [:

ttfn!

quiet.

everyone’s sleeping. it’s 1pm. we woke up and ate and now we’re taking afternoon naps.

i’m down in beaverton, OR for the weekend. for the fourth. it has been a great weekend (albeit a bit boring) because the family is all together and we all dote upon baby Tam (it’s prnounced kind of like Th-ah-mb).

she’s grow quite a bit fat-wise. she’s a VERY healthy eater just like her mom. basically, she sleeps. eats. burps. farts. poops. and then sleeps. and sometimes she does two at once like pooping while eating. it’s kinda weird in a funny cute baby way [: she’s absolutely marvelous. adorable beyond words. she also has long legs like me that love to kick away her covers. she’s sleeping right now (i think our sleeping schedule revolves around her.) and she’s making little sucking motions with her mouth. man, she eats even in her dreams! ^^

the fourth was normal. i think the whole luster of fireworks on the fourth and whatnot has faded for me. sad, right? we went to see fireworks down in downtown portland and it was more tiring than eventful. too many people. lot’s of hustle and bustle. just tiring. i had more fun just lighting our own mini-set of fireworks at home after the show. and okay, i was disappointed because i found out those huge ones were just…huge fountains. apparently anything that flies in the sky and goes boom is illegal? DAMMIT. I KNEW WE SHOULD HAVE GONE TO THE INDIAN RESERVATION. lol. i’m just hoping the neighbors near our house in seattle didn’t get to carried away and accidentally shoot a roman candle into our yard or something because our grass is dryyyyyyy. it happened one year, i kid you not. lucky we had a hose. burnt like, 2 feet by 1 feet of our grass. >< but yea, it was fine. next year, i’m hoping to go to ally’s because i remember having fun there because 1) they have really good food, 2) playing mahjong with her aunts is funnnn, 3) AMAZING FIREWORKS

so yes, now i will go feed Tam because she just woke and is angry. and everyone else needs her sleep since i’m in charge of feeding and burping for now. =D

here is a video to keep you occupied . great great great ! plus. taylor swift always reminds me of my hone y now. ><”

i do like this cover a lot, his left hand is clearly softer than his right so it brings out the melody more. and the sound is better than on his cover of love story. all in all, i like it. ^^

it’s time to go.

미치겠어 . &hearts;

life rushes by and yet i’m still standing here wondering what happened the best of the past and what i should expect of the future. graduation is tomorrow and night, and really, i don’t want to go. it’s true. 2 years away from the people i love and my second home has truly made me an outsider. throw in my parents and my home-life and i could easily live my life out as a aestetic in the forest or something. 4 years ago, i can still remember standing at a certain corner in the hallway of school in the morning and exactly where my french classroom was. heck, i still remember mcbennet’s highly ironic stories of running into past bf and realizing how small the world is. 4 years later, i am estranged from my friends, hiding in the corner as messages of “let’s hang out” are turned down and phone calls ignored. i really shouldn’t. i know i don’t want to live my life as a loner. i don’t. but lately it’s been more of a passiveness about me. i like solitude. i am wholehearted (literally) clinging onto the one person who is currently my life and world because soon, he will leave me too.

selfish right? the fact that i wrote he will leave “me” too. as if the world revolves around me. hm, how does the story go. the boy meets girl one? boy meets girl. girl meets boy. they fall in love. blah blah. the end? as i sat tending to my sick boyfriend this morning, i realize that things do end. the words “the end” are true. what isn’t true is the happily ever after. all stories may have open endings where anything happens but it will always have a “the end”.

this is the video i watched as i sat in his quiet apartment, headphones plugged in, silently letting my tears fall.

school has been particularly stressful. wanna see my zits?

EW.

yes. ew. it should go onto one of those acne forums where people discuss what latests zit products to use. hahaha.  btw, my skin wasn’t all that bad. i just stopped taking my pills…so..they started popping up. but it’s true. school has been crazy. we’re doing handstands in yoga (that’s how crazy it is!). communications is a bit off schedule but i did my speech and basically nailed it. anatomy is going to kill me since all cells look alike to me. and it’s not like i even go to astronomy. but it’s the last quarter and i must say goodbye to my temporary home of seattle central once again. i truly love central. it’s just, so… i don’t know. you meet so many different people and it’s funny to see how often you run into a person you know even after 2 years. though the people i know always seem to be guys…ohdarn.

life has been pretty steady lately though. only because i haven’t done anything out of the ordinary. i think i’ve settled down into my whole not-being-able-to-go-out thing. but it’s def. been spotaneous with my nephews and brother and sister-in-law over for vacation. here are some pics! (:

oh yes, we’re so cool. hey! you can see my dark tooth! lol.

btw, i got this new hp tablet with a webcam and microphone so maaaaaaaaybes i can do a video. that is most likely after i get everything done as in school and whatnot. so. yea..

we’ll my time in the library is up. i’m going home.

wishes for this week

-graduation will go well

-i start recognizing the difference between serous, mucous, and mast cells.

-my boyfriend gets way much much better….and chooses UW. (the latter being very far-fetched)

-getting won’s email!

-a new phone maybes? (:

-less zit outbreaks

-chilling more with the lil ones. it’s their last week here!

mommy, i want to be a mom when i grow up.

looking at my sister’s belly and her 3D video and pictures (i never knew they had such a thing) makes me want to instantly go out and start getting pregnant right away. luckily, that whole feeling ends as soon as i remember i don’t even have a driver’s license yet so…i’m safe. is this in anyway similiar to that whole trend of teen pregnancies rising after Juno and Jamie Lynn Spears getting pregnant news and stuff? that it really influences you and encourages you (or makes you) want to go out and get a baby bump too? that it’s cool? i hope not =[

this weekend, my sister came up for the first time since…a long time. and boy she was huge. she has two months left but that bump is bigger than a freaking basketball. it’s creepy and curious in a way. and her waddle is the most cute thing about her. and you know what i hate? that she still looks freaking gorgeous even she’s sweating like a pig and passing gas and burping (which apparently comes with the package?). sundresses in 50 degree weather, god i envy her so much!

the 3D video was amazing. technology never fails to amaze me. i swear. i saw her yawn and smile. and it just about made me cry. just almost. lol. i’m so emotional around kids. o_0″ 

 

and this week, there was slightly good weather (sunnny on mondaaaay and tuesdaaaay) so the store was busier. but there’s a sudden boom in little kids at the store and it’s like freaking cadyland cuteness at the store when they come in. my parents swarm them, and of course i get caught up in the action too. there’s hannah and james and ruby and adele and they’re all so cute and most of them are like..1 years old – 3 years old so they’re all curious and walking around and tentative and smiley and omg it’s just so adorable. 

these things make me seriously want to work with kids.

seriously.