such a pity.

so what if life is unbearable right now.

so what if i failed my chemistry exam.

so what if it was the lowest grade i’ve ever gotten on an exam in ANY class so far. it even beats my physics!

i feel like a horrible failure right now. chem class with khakimova is EASY. i aced the first exam with flying colors. i know this stuff. okay, so maybe the last exam was on gases which we HARDLY covered in villarba’s at SCCC. i had my physics and chem exam on the same day so i couldn’t very well study for both. of course, sydney pointed out that for how much time and effort i’ve been putting into physics, there hasn’t been much result. thanks…thanks a lot.

so maybe i should refocus? step back and take a breather. it IS thanksgiving weekend afterall. it’s not going to be good thing if i continuously stress over something that’s already happened. my labs are going great and my homework is as well, so i should still get an A albeit a low one. i think it’s just this whole pre-med thing that’s getting to my head. honestly, i really don’t know what i want to do with my life. pre-med just seems…so far off and so…hard. and everytime i get frustrated or denied something while arguing with my parents, i just cry. just like how i cry when i can’t deal with my emotions and when they get the best of me, haha, hao’s such a wuss. i’ve always been put on this path to become a doctor. not to mention having people around me reinforce that i can become a doctor puts extra pressure. “what if i don’t want to become a doctor,” i once said to my parents. they pretty much said “that’s not going to happen”. but then again, i have no idea what i WANT to do if i didn’t become a doctor. i really like…i don’t know what i like. i have this friend. he’s so go-with-the-flow i’m completely enamoured by his passion for life and to do the things he wants to do. i feel like he’s really got of hang of it, y’know?

me: what do you want to career-wise?

him: i don’t know. we’ll see.

me: what?!?

him: well with a degree in business and economics, i’m bound to be able to do something. but we’ll see when it comes.

which is true. he’s really smart and he works for it, staying up hecka late to study and being diligent. i admire his responsibility. and he does all this while holding down a part time job too. but it’s not like he’s not some socially awkward introvert that spends all his time studying and working… he also finds the time for his friends ( like our lunch!). right now he’s taking korean just because he likes the language, which has led him to applying to study abroad in Korea for a semester. i’m so jealous, i asked him what he wants to do afterwards and he says maybe he’ll spend a year after he graduates teaching english in Korea. i mean, DUDE, that’s just fabulous. while i’m sitting here, wasting my life away with a path that i don’t even know how i feel about… it’s just hard not to get jealous.

but the thing is, it’s not as if i’m NOT happy with being the idea of becoming a doctor. it’d be great honestly. it’s not as if it’s a bad thing. and who knows, i might love it. but i’m afraid that the reason i’m thinking it’s such a great thing is because that’s all i’ve known my entire life. it’s like…wired into my brain to have this notion  towards being a doctor in the first place. *sigh.

….it’s interesting how much this chem score really bugs me. my head is just pounding and i literally want to throw up. i’m continuously swallowing to keep anything from emerging from the depths of my stomach. i hate this. and this was the score after a curve too! ><”

not to mention, the stress of choosing classes and my upcoming vietnam trip. and how my boss literally sent out an email saying that taking food to eat from the gift shop without paying for it is basically stealing when EVERYONE does it and i feel as if it’s directed at me because she probably hates me. yes, life is not flowing well right now.

even a nice hot shower didn’t help.

i’m sad. i’ll go to sleep now.

if i had a nickel for every time…

- i wrote a text message and then decided not to send it. i’d be rich.

- i wrote a text message to this specific person and decided not to send it. i’d be rich.

- i slid my phone out to check if i got a text message. i’d be rich.

- i slid my phone out hoping to see if i got a text message from this specific person. i’d be rich.

————————————

verteran’s day today! slept in til 2pm. watched two gg episodes. ate half a large papaya. and now i am determined to do my physics until i get at least 80% of it done.

vietnam is in less than a month. excitemeeeeent. yes.

why is superpoke still popular on facebook? well, ocassionally, out of the blue, i get a barrel of monkets thrown at me. and facebook keeps encouraging me to “reconnect with melanie truong” because i haven’t wrote something on her wall lately. lol.

class scheduling for next quarter is FRIDAY. anxious because i only have so many choices.

i am most likely hooking up my DSL in january considering i got paid yesterday. yay.

i’m craving some froyo but it’s absolutely chilly outside.

i need to cut my toenails.

work was fun yesterday. i learned how to play darts. and i think my boss hates me because she told me to do dusting yesterday. it’s where you have to take ALL THE MERCHANDISE off the glass shelves and then wipe the glass shelves down with glass cleaner to make it all clear and transparent. and there are A LOT of shelves and A LOT of shit to take off the shelves and put back on. luckily, sandra came in and asked me to price stuff so…saved by very ugly wallets! (:

i was highly surprised by my physics exam. i was actually wondering if the teacher changed TAs because this time, if i just wrote down a few numbers and had no idea what the HELL i was doing, i got 3 points out of ten. =D so i ended up getting a minimal grade considering i mainly got 3 points out of ten on most problems. hahaha. ><” i think this will be the exam i get dropped.

ally is going through some tuffy problems that are making her sad so i try to be a good friend and be there for her but i’m so unsure about what to say and i don’t even know if i’m helping or making it worse. i get that sometimes i don’t get her and whatnot but i want to try to be a better friend to her and be there for her because since what happened on her birthday, i do realize that i take her for granted a lot. =|

 

thumbs down.

god, fawk. i hate it when it downpours and im stuck wearing wet flats all day. gah.

i’m spending too much money. spending too much money.

45 dollars on two pairs of boots. 20 dollars for a haircut. 2 dollars, 3 dollars, 4 dollars, here and there.

and i haven’t even gotten paid because i haven’t effing turned in my paperwork for work. it’s been a month late too so i shouldn’t even be complaining about that. gah.

physics is due tonight. screwed.. chemistry is due wednesday. screwed. chem midterm friday. physics exam tuesday. physics hwk also due next monday. comm midterm next friday. comm readings due this friday.

screwed screwed screwed.

although hanging out with diana was absolutely hilarious today. the two girls that sat at the same table were apparently really annoyed with us.

[hao leaves for the bathroom]

random guy to the two white nerdy girls: hey! what’s up. i’ll join you guys.

girl 1: oh no. we’ll move tables.

random guy: oh! it’s fine. i can pull up a chair.

girl 1: no. we’ll move. this table stinks.

[hao comes back]

this is what she told me went on while i was gone. i mean, wtf? this table stinks? those freshies be dissing on random girls. did i mention RANDOM IDIOT FRESHY GIRLS? i mean, okay, no lie. i’m a freshy, but these girls look like wanna emo nerds that only have each other for friends. and one of the girls had this FUGLY tattoo on the inside of her scrawny little forearm. and well, i was like “whatever”. but diana was totally shit-mad and she was hella going to call them out. which makes sense because biiiiiiitch, what the fuck did we do to YOU. we’re just sitting there laughing and talking about physics homework while YOU TWO don’t even know the simple ass prefixes for chemicals [mono, di, tri, hexa, hepta, penta, ect.]

fuck leave if u want but don’t be effing dissing us just because. rofl, diana cracks me up. [:

i totally died in physics class today and got 3/3 questions WRONG. so more  like, 0/3. gahhh. annoyance.

okay, i must go eat because i haven’t had a chance to eat all day. man! i’m getting skinny.

not dead yet.

but i sure feel like it.

college has been extremely stressful i’m amazed i haven’t gotten anymore gray hairs yet.

i almost did break down on tuesday and started banding my head on the table [padding with a notebook of course because that would hurt!] and started tearing up because physics has turned into my worst enemy. no lie. that shit is NO FUN. i mean, okay it’s all formulas and yes i can memorize the damn formulas but WHEN DO I USE THEM. and not to mention, MY TEACHER SUCKS AT LECTURING.  ]:

i did meet some new people, ran into some old people, and kept life on a constant.

of course, i disturbed the silent study floor once again at odegaard like i did in the computer lab at seattle central. but i couldn’t help it! i TRIED to keep my voice quiet as a friend and i eagerly caught up what had happened in the last…6 months we haven’t seen each other. all in all, it was a fantastic break hour filed with many laughs. he’s taking korean! which i eagerly flipped through his textbook and embarrassed myself with. =P

and my physics buddy who cannot see in the dark [even with her contacts] is quite gorgeous. she also has this crazy cool bar in her ear where it goes from the back of the ear to the front. and it’s red because she didn’t want green because she “didn’t want people to think it was earwax”. hilarious. and i BASICALLY did her last physics problem for her 2 minutes before the deadline so she hecka owes me lunch now. and well, mainly communications class has been a failure in terms of meeting people. not that i haven’t met people. i have. it IS communication class afterall. but the girls i meet…blah. they’re all blonde and sorority girls and i just really can’t hang out with them because they’re SO self-centered. like SERIOUSLY. the girls in my mini quiz section are.

besides school. work has been fun~ my coworkers are simply hilarious and we get along great. they’ve mainly been working for a long time so they’re really fast with stuff but i stumble along great. but this week, i have to work 7-11 >< SEVEN. in the MORNING. i just hate the part that my supervisor doesn’t like her workers eating/drinking behind the counter so i have to like STARVE until the end of my shift where i voraciously devour my sandwich in the backroom. *sigh.

i also think i’ve been sadly losing weight just because i don’t have enough time to eat. i mean, my hour break i’ve been using to print all my notes out for classes and doing last minute hwk. it SUCKS. and i just really really want a place to sleep because i’ve been staying up til one doing physics homework.

also, friends have been drama problems and i’ve been kind of going back and forward between the couple trying to sort out issues and smooth things over. im trying to be nice, remember? and my own problems include MY own friends being unsupportive of MY  relationship. grah. i mean, it’s hard enough to be hundreds of miles away from each other. i don’t need to take any crap from anyone about it. all this is making things fuzzy and annoying for me. which also i might note, at times i wonder if i bend over backwards and worry about other people to much. ie, him. i mean, i feel narcissistic when i say that i try to be the good girlfriend that doesn’t cling and be needy but secretly, i crave doting from my other half. i feel jipped sometimes that he doesn’t call me to say he misses me or how i am and just to check in. or that he doesn’t do romantic things like send me an email with a love song. you’d think that’d just happens in the movie but in real life, stuff like that ACTUALLY HAPPENS. some guys DO do super romantic stuff and be sweet and all that shiz. i would know. i guess maybe i’m just expecting too much now.  i just wonder if he thinks of me still . it’s kinda sad ain’t it? i’m just being too girly.

anyways. the ‘rents wanna head back to good ol’  vietnam for winter. my cousin is getting married and my mom wants to visit grammy. BUT THE WEDDING IS ON THE 10TH OF JANUARY. so my dad is completely balse about school because he thinks it’s TOTALLY a piece of cake to be able to catch up on a week+ of hwk for PHYSICS AND CHEMISTRY. apparently, after i get the hang of physics this quarter, the second quarter should be easy peasy. WHAT THE HELL DUDE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? and it’s not like my parents are totally going to let me stay at home because THEY DON’T TRUST ME (okay, maybe they have a reason to not trust me) . GAH. i’m willing to go because i love viet nam but i SERIOUSLY don’t want to miss a week (or more) of school. especially in the beginning of the quarter? ]:

today, i slept in til 2pm. it was the most amazing of my life because i have seriously been sleep deprived. i did hwk and had a gossip girl marathon before my ass brother came home and took over the TV like he owns it (he kind of does considering his bought it, but WTF). congrats to ally for getting her permit! she’ll finally have the chance to scare some people on the street. [:

…my birthday’s next week and i don’t think i’ll be doing anything. maybe just go get a haircut. ^^ i also need to invest in some boots because its going to RAIN next week. rah. rain + physics = i need some prozac for depression.

because your words sting! &stealing from comcast.

sometimes i’m too sarcastic and mean or somewhere on Mars for my own good and i need to be brought down to earth with a slap in the face and some reality-fact quick checks. thanks sydney.

so my parents have been oddly sneakily open to me going to uw campus. oddly enough. when i asked to go today…

me: dad can i go to uw today. around 4..

dad: more books!?!? how many times do you need to go?!

me: no. for fun. i’m going rock climbing.

dad: who did you schedule with already..

me: oh..anna and sydney invited me…yesterday…*hesitant, prepares for rejection..*

dad: okay. how you getting home?

me: you’re picking me up of course.

…UW. YES.

so it ended up with just me and sydney because anna didn’t pick up her phone and cc had lunches/dinners to attend to for her scholarships and eric was busy with the dudes. it was horrible because i didn’t have my contacts so EVERYTHING looked the same. i went squirrel chasing and these two cute white guys walked by and were like “hey. how you guys doing? cya around.” and i’m like DUDE, NO. I WANTED ASIAN. FAIL. but oh well.

i did NOT realize the IMA was SO EFFING far. i mean, it was practically on the OTHER SIDE of campus. and once we got inside, it was asian galore and i was silently cursing i didn’t wear my contacts to oogle. i mean, guys play half naked basketball?

“dude that was dylan yoo”

me: “who the heck is dylan yoo”..

OMG. AS I JUST WROTE THOSE WORDS ABOVE. I REALIZED WHO DYLAN YOO IS. HE WAS THE ONLY CUTE ORIENTATION LEADER THAT WAS PART ASIAN.

you know what i feel like now? that pervy nerd teacher that wears he glasses and gets nosebleeds when he looks at the high school girls in those mangas. dear god..

anyways, we walked around the IMA. they have an exceptional pool WITH A KIDDIE POOL ATTACHMENT which i happily pointed out to sydney.

oh which also makes me think of something random. she was saying how she would just sit there on her laptop while i drown and have to get rescued by the lifeguard. and the first thing i said was “no thanks. i dont want random lips on me. what if he had herpes.” which  came out of nowhere but actually made me stop and think WHAT IF HE DID. OMG.

what if the lifeguard had mono or some canker sore on his lip. and then he gives you CPR. and then… ]: creepy. that should keep me from drowning.

we ended up NOT being able to find the rock climbing wall. but then again, we weren’t entirely dressed in our shorts tank top with flip flops clothes combo. next time maybe.

it was a uphill walk back and we ended up going to the bookstore where SYDNEY made the ultimate diss to our friend in front of PEOPLE. it was horrible. i seriously thought it was so so so mean.

sydney: hey there’s raheem!

me: HI RAHEEM!

raheem [walking with a few friends.] : hey. you guys live on campus?

syd: no

me: commute. you?

raheem: oh i dorm at mercer.

syd: mercer!??! isn’t that the crappiest* dorm?!

*i don’t remember what word she actually said. it was either crappiest/worst/ect..

his friends LAUGH. i was FUMING at sydney. raheem just laughed…awkwardly. god that was just killer mean. i swear, she CAN be such a bitch sometimes. but then again, it made me reflective of me. the hypocrite. so i shouldn’t be talking..

and she also pounced when i happened to mention me and shawn are still together because she was asking if i found a rebound yet.

“but don’t you think it’s romantic for us to stay together?”

“a long distance relationship?”

“yeaaaa 1 and half years…”

“so? right. okay.”

sydney, oh you make me want to squeeze you to death sometimes.

this is why my resolution is to at least try to be nice[r].

bookstore where i got my lab shizzles and then froyo on the ave. classic hanging out. i should have gotten the gelato though because the froyo WAS NOT GOOD. i genuinely feel bad the girl though because her roomy bullies her around and “buys expensive ingredients for food…” which they have to split the costs. three girls. 500 a month. i saw that whiteboard with X’s and $$ amounts listed for each person and i was already shaking my head. and the room is tinyyyy. oh syd. i feel for you.

i swear i’d be a great roommate. it’d be chill and whatnot. i would cook for you and you just help out. and i swear, i live cheap and will use NON ORGANIC products because i’m cheap that way. and i’m not that much of a neat freak as long as it doesn’t stink up the apartment or something. if only i could apartment. =[

so far, it's a good start. practicing driving a lot tomorrow since it's the last weekend i have free from hwk. this last week has mainly been parallel parking. which is the worst. THE WORST. OH!

i have an i-love-my-dad story. so we were practicing parking and practicing with only one car def. does not work so my dad is like "okay. we'll just have to go get a traffic cone or something tomorrow" and i'm like "uh okay."

apparently one of the people near the store has a traffic cone because my dad goes over to their house to ask for it. but they're not home so we're outta luck. AND THAT'S WHEN MY DAD SEES THE COMCAST GUY DRIVE UP. comcast guy parks there, TAKES OUT TWO TRAFFIC CONES, puts them at the front and back of his car, and disappears [to do come cablework i suppose?]. anyways, yes. you saw this coming. MY DAD STEALS A CONE FROM THE COMCAST GUY. the front one at least. it was sheer hilariousness. too bad we went home before the comcast guy left. i REALLY want to see his expression. xD oh dad, you’re so silly sometimes.

anyways. good food tomorrow too because it’s ong ngoai’s [grandpa's] death anniversary. and then dawg daze sunday. and then monday. and tuesday. and then school. and next weekend, we’re heading to my sister’s and her new big house with the neighbor that has a tennis court and a neighborhood where the wives get together once a week and have a game night.

AND THEY HAVE CUL DE SAC BBQ WELCOME-THE-NEIGHBOR-IN PARTIES TOO.

it’s completely creepy to me because we’re asian. it’s too suburban.  too…stepford. but they have kids my age? so maybe i can play tennis with them when i go down for the weekend. i’ll make sure to pack my polo shirts to fit in.. ><”

well gooodnight. i must go read some OBAMA now.

…makes me look smart. [:

phase II: college.

COLLEGE IS HERE.

AND I’M GOING TO BE A NICER PERSON.

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS HERE I COME!

———————

Move in day is Thursday and I’ll be in the area because I’m going to be buying books off craigslist. Yea! I’m so jealous of everything. Move in day. Dorming. Late night Dawg Daze Events that I WON’T be able to attend [LATE NIGHT SHOPPING AT FRED MEYER? DODGEBALL?] But that’s fine fine fine because I’m anxious to start NOW. Okay, maybe it’s just so I can be in a lecture hall with 400 kids and feel what it would feel like to be 1 out of 1000. BUT NO! I WILL NOT SUCCUMB TO BEING LOST IN THE MASSES. I WILL BREAKOUT [HOPEFULLY NOT ON MY FACE ...] OF THE MOLD!

That is, if I’m able to. Definitely trying. Badminton club. VSA. Swimming. Peanut Butter and Jelly Club? [With Anna]. Har har har.

Cute asian guys at UW. I’ve seen them around. They’re DEFINITELY there. And no, Ally. They’re not all FOBs. Only 50% of them. But I have a feeling that I won’t have that much time to be diddlydallying around. [I shouldn't be either considering I'M TAKEN]. I should get my ass on that chemistry book RIGHT NOW if I had the brains too. For some reason, I have this weird idea that somehow I will find a friend in Communications class that will end up having either Physics/Chemistry with me and we’ll be all buddy-buddy and skip into the glorious sunset together. Or huddle under a small umbrella in treacherous rain depending what what month I ACTUALLY make a friend. I’m giving putting my bets on November 5th, give or take a few days. That will be the day I make a good friend. Take it or leave it, yo.

I’ve been SO stressed out these last two days because my first pick of Work Study jobs DIDN’T WORK OUT. On a slightly but still connected to the topic tangent, I was watching teh season premiere of Heroes [HIRO'S!] and Claire’s, the cheerleader’s, roommate made me laugh SO hard. I mean, she had the next 10 years of her life planned out on a pink cardboard sheet of paper with glittery stars and arrows and PICTURES. Then she ended up being thrown out the dorm window and bleeding her guts out on the floor below. Sadness. ANYWAYS. THAT WAS MY POINT.

….In case you missed it. I was trying to point out that you shouldn’t PLAN things so far ahead because they will not go according to plan. I was NOT trying to say that planning your life ahead for the next ten years is bad because you could potentially die tomorrow…kind of.

Anyways, relative to my Work Study. I was kind of placing all my chips on this one job and I didn’t realize that they were looking for someone with big chunks of hours in their school schedule for the job. Which I don’t. Because when I was planning my schedule, I wanted enough time to be lazy between classes and grab food, but not have huge gaps where I would have classes until 8pm or whatnot. AND NOW I HAVE TO LOOK FOR A JOB WITH A WEEK UNTIL SCHOOL.

gah.

The only big opening for me is working in the gift shop of the UWMC which I would have PLENTY of experience in CONSIDERING I FREAKING WORK IN A STORE NOW. I DON’T WANT TO WORK IN ANOTHER PLACE LIKE THAT. ]: But I don’t have data-entry experience and the other positions have been filled. *sigh. There was another position working with Occupation Therapy in Pediatrics WHICH IS PRETTY MUCH DREAMY…but I screwed that up because I sent my resume in with the objective line UNEDITTED so it says “Seeking a Student Assistant position in the Biology Department” because I had just applied for the Bio department earlier. So now, the person is probably thinking “god this girl is so unorganized and doesn’t look over her papers”.

Fail.

Yes, Izzy. We are failures together. BUT NO WORRIES. WE WILL BOUNCE BACK AND BE BRIGHT AND SHINY LIKE ANNA FUN! ^^

Shawn’s at UCLA and he’s basically having the time of his life. Frat parties with ASIANS. Being invited to Badminton club. He’s totally going to forget about me oogling all the blondes which move in packs. Which I commented and said “Like Harry Potter?” which I don’t really think he got. BUT OTHER HP FANS WOULD. GOD. JOKE FAIL. But there was a very tender moment where he said my panda was getting lint-y. Which really made me wistful because HE STILL HAS THE PANDA I GAVE HIM FROM LAST YEAR AND HE BROUGHT IT TO UCLA AND I WAS MAKING SUCH A BIG DEAL THAT HE DID AND HE NONCHALANTLY SAID “YEA. I DID BRING IT”. I wanted to cry. ><”

Speaking of repeating the word FAIL, SYDNEY IS MOVING IN! AND WE’RE EXCITED! AND COLLEGE! YAY! MASSES OF HOMEWORK! YAY!

The Dean of Undergraduate Academic Affairs lives right by the store so he stops by occasionally. And he’s a really nice guy that looked into my record before I even got my acceptance later, and then a few days after I got it, he came in and inquired whether I got in or not. And when I said “yes”, he said good job and that he knew I would because have a good application. =O STOP LOOKING AT MY STUFF ><” Creepy to know more about me than my parents [who have no idea what I wrote as my college essay!] But all in all, he stopped by yesterday and asked me if I chose my advisor yet.

AM I SUPPOSE TO KNOW HOW TO DO ALL THIS STUFF ALREADY? I DON’T KNOW. WHERE ARE THE ADVISORS?!?!?!

I ended up dumbly/lamely saying “I have yet to because I wanted to see how my classes turn out”. He told me stop by Mary Gates Hall [at least I know where THAT is] and say Hi and that the advisors are on the first floor. YAY FOR FREE KNOWLEDGE. Can I use my connections to get ahead in school? Maybe? xD I’ll be needing all I can get.

Okay. Well. This post was hugely about college and it’s really lengthy and not real fun. But it’s really the biggest thing in my life. Besides the kitchen being DONE. [:

Pictures soon~!

friends4life.

running into people you know has got to be the most stressful thing in the world. especially when they’re not the type that you can totally blow off because you’ve probably spoken 3 words to them in your entire life. i’m talking about the type that you have to turn around inyour seat and crane your neck back to talk to them out of politeness because you actually care what they think about you. AND also because you know that if you’re not nice, they’ll probably hate you for the rest of your life and i wouldn’t want anyone to hate me for the rest of my/their life. seriously.

happened. twice today.

i guess it didn’t go too bad. *modifications of names are done for privacy sake.

mommy and me went to chinatown to get groceries and so ended up taking the first bus that headed downtown, downtown. coincidentally it was the 36 bus. that is, i  didn’t notice it was the 36 until i saw how many asians there were on there but anyways. I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE AVOIDED IT because i ALWAYS run into people i know when it’s the 36 because it runs through Beacon Hill … the “asian people” part of town. i ran into* jellybean, *vehicle, and *vietwah on there. we talked about school and uw and friends and why they were in chinatown and whatnot but all the time i was feeling ugly because she’s pretty with amazing skin and im all horrible and not amazing skin. and i do know how allycat is feeling because it seems like old guys are somehow all creepily attracted to me. AND crazy people because they talk to themselves and than all of a sudden the face me and say “how ya doing cutie.” *scuttles away really fast..*

anyways, yes her and vehicle were not that bad. they got off two stops after i got on with a “wanna come hang out with us?” which was really nice. it was actaully not that bad considering what went on between us in the past. girl drama and gossip and boys pretty much ended our friendship. but it was a somewhat nice reconciliation although i do still cringe are her bubbly-airhead way of talking and and eye rolling ><” after they got off, i settle into the somewhat cushiony seat of the bus to relax from self-conciousness when it was a “HEY! *tap tap on my head!*”

i turn around about to ask why they got on the bus again only to find myself facing HIM. a guy that i was somewhat interested but totally turned off after getting to know him a bit more. he’s okay. a sweet awkward kinda guy. we made good small talk and he said i look a bit like my mom so props to him for sucking up. [: it was a hi-bye conversation that last to part of the u district. he invited to me lucnh with his friend which was also nice.

...maybe i shouldn't be so mean to people i should get to know better? self-eval check, Hao. maybe i'm the problem in the friendship and shouldn't be so judgemental? =/ they're NOT THAT BAD. *sigh

i resolve to be a better friend in the future. i need to work on my social skills. maybe that's why i'm taking communications class? haha.

on the other side of things.

i will be playing tennis with my brother today.

i need to go to target to return their expensive flip flops and a pair of moccasins that were an impulse buy.

we are redo-ing the floor of our kitchen.

i am excited for epik high's new album that will indeed be illegally downloaded by me and spread by my mouth to others.

i want an upgrade for my phone but i am too lazy to actually go through the motions of it.

uw work study starts after labor day weekend

OH.

speaking of labor day weekend. sissy is coming up with baby tam tam! i have taken to calling her tam tam because it's adorable`. we're excited and everyones happy and i need to go effing clean the house because she's still hormonal [is she EVER going to stop?] and we’re throwing a party and people are coming over and then we have to go to another party thing and busy busy  busy. i still think the hair is sexy but she looks like a boy.

can you hear me now?

Yes I can but I’ll pretend I don’t.

Seriously, whaaa?  I have the best friends I swear. Love them much but sometimes they just tick you off. But then again, it’s kind of like “taste of your own medicine” right? Considering how shitty my phone etiquette is. Telling people and then never calling them, I mean. My voicemail probably starts sounding like a lie the 3^rd time through because it says I’ll call them back ASAP when my as soon as possible is two days later. But the person didn’t leave a voicemail! I don’t get annoyed when people don’t call me back. At least I leave an urgent message or something if I really needed them. Or called them 10 times in a row like a certain person did to me.

Anyways, yes. Phone calling is tricky for me even when it shouldn’t be.  JUST PICK UP THE PHONE HAO. That’s all I need to do.  How easy.

We went car hunting today ALL DAY. It was probably the most exasperating tiring annoying stressful thing I have done yet so far. AND IT WASN’T A CAR FOR ME EITHER. My parents wanted to take advantage of the Cash for Clunkers program thingy that is ending this Monday. WAY TO PROVE THAT MY PARENTS ARE FLAKY PROCRASTINATORS. We wanted to trade in our Quest [which has a value of basically…2K] because then it’d be a good deal since we could trade it in with a value of $4,500. And as expected, a lot of the dealers don’t even do the program anymore because they’re backlogged with paperwork for it. So my parents wanted somewhat of a nice car like that Lexus humpback one…I don’t know what model it is but it’s the SUV one. But they don’t have the moola for it. So of course being the Asians we are, we go for the knockoffs! Toyota Venza was number once, followed by the Nissan Murano, and then the Toyota RAV4. But really, we wanted the Venza. So after calling many many many many many…many places, we found the Toyota in AUBURN still does the program and that they still had Venzas. A lot of Venzas. I think we saw 6 on their lot? Well, typical Mom and Dad. We weren’t able to GET ONE. Mom doesn’t like the color of the cheapest one and the others were too expensive and Dad wants GPS when I think navigation is a total joke because it adds approx. 2K to the price of the vehicle but you buy it as an attachment at stores for…most expensive, $500? RIDICULOUS. Anyways, we ended up driving ALL THE WAY TO BELLEVUE for the stupid Nissan dealer there only to find they sold their last okay-priced Murano [35K] and only had their upper-packed Murano’s left [41K]. Okay, too much. Bye bye dealership. No we don’t want to leave our name but we’ll take your sales card just to be nice.

Car salesman: What color do YOU want?

Me: I don’t care really.

Car salesman:  WOW. A female that doesn’t have a particular color choice? Amazing.

I DON’T CARE. I mean, if they were the same price and the only thing that separated them were the color, than it would boil down to color preference. But I’d really just want a good car, good price, looks decent. But then again, I wouldn’t want a color like pastel purple right? *shrugs. I’m quite happy with my Maxima.

So then we went to a family friend’s dinner thing where my dad drank and my talked about having kids with all the other moms and I was shoved in the corner with little kids that I didn’t want to play with. And so I called up my friends to talk and was rejected numerous times. One rejection. One hang up. One busy.

THANK GOD FOR KENNETH CORDOBA. [:

Thanks for the bags of YUMMMMMMY cookies from Guam and the Gelly Roll pens {MY FAVORITE!] even if they WERE just in black. =D And for keeping me from sliding into a depression-like state of lack of friends while keeping me in touch with my reality of non-popularity at the same time. It’s a fine line to keep, but somehow you did it. Haha. And it’s always nice to talk about relationships and differences and similiarities and life and school and us and whatnot. ^^ Thankszzzz buddy.

And then I GOT TO DRIVE MY PARENTS HOME. Only because my dad was a bit drunk of course. But I drove nonetheless. I was a bit shocked because it was pitch black but hey, who cares.

My dad drove out of the driveway and then he turned to me and said “You wanna drive home?”

*insert joyous woop here.*

JK. I played it cool of course. “Okay.”

They were mightily impressed with my driving home and I even parked okay in my hella tight driveway! My dad was like “what’d you do in Iowa. Drive and sleep?” haha. Now he’s going to teach me how to park on hills [it is SEATTLE afterall.] and parallel park [WHICH I DREAD.]

So yes, it was an okay night. I was hoping to volunteer at Night Market but I don’t mind now. [:

We were meant to go camping but we ended up not going because one of the people who was going with us accidentally chainsawed his leg because he was chopping trees. Same guy that ended up throwing the dinner party. Haha. He showed me leg and I was like “COOL.” And he laughed.

I mean, dude. It was a CHAINSAW.

Crazy.

open ended questions.

so it’s my last staying up til 3am night of the summer because why the hell would i stay up til 3am in Seattle. the only reason i stay up late here is because of the blazzzzzin’ wifi so i am able to watch my porn in peace when everyone is sleeping. jk. more like, i talk to shawn.

— speaking of shawn. im a tad bit ticked because he said he would be online to talk to me tonight since it IS my last night of fast webcamming and whatnot which i won’t be able to do in Seattle. but he didn’t show. so i called him via Skype — more on that later — to see what’s up and he’s at a friends house? wtf? i mean, okay. i try not to be the clingy type but maybe i am! did i NOT tell him that i get DIALUP in seattle? gah. i know i’m being pesky but i just really would like to see him for the last time for a while. IM NEEDY. rawh. —-

and then i indulge in my allkpop.com [which i do realize gets news way faster than popseoul. but popseoul gets more cynical and funny and totally biased] and my online shopping and my youtube. bytheway, i stumbled upon this guy on youtube because of the “top watched” videos of the day.

peter chao? http://www.youtube.com/user/pyrobooby

he’s…i don’t know! i mean, he’s clearly faking that accent and he’s just…irritating as “fahk”. but i don’t know why i just had to watch most of his videos! i mean, its like profanity x10. and when i watch it, it’s just like “………o…my…god…what the hell am i watching…” and its just…so…i don’t know! people say you have to be able to laugh at yourself, but he takes that FOB stereotype to the fullest extreme. i cringe watching it but i can’t stop. it’s like that car crash on the freeway that you HAVE to slow down to see everytime and say “wow, i wonder if anyone died” to. okay i don’t know what kind of analogy that was but, all i’m trying to say is that he’s so crude but so freaking ridiculous.

but yes, it’s my last evening, night, whatever in Iowa. im going to miss it but i need to go back to my room im Seattle as well. my vacation here has ending with a in a spray painting daze. i got these rainboots at a garage sale and they fit amazingly but they’re just pink. really really really barbie pink. so i decided to do what any person would do to shoes they don’t like the color of [besides not buy them] — i spray painted them black. though it was more like my brother who spray painted them for me. i just stuck on dots and the paint tape on places that i didn’t want to get black. now they look like some random army boots i got from at trash can. haha, jk. they’re drying so i actually don’t know. we’ll see how they turn out. they were only five dollars so that’s okay if they don’t turn out so great.

i also watched harry potter tonight. overall, i would say it’s an okay movie. i understood what alysonman meant when she said it was boring, then good, then boring, then good. my brother [who has never read any of the books] said he liked it because there was more action. and i must admit, there was more action. the romance was quite stifling though. and what the heck was with the whole ron weasley’s house being burnt down part. err, was that in the book? i mean, what the heck? just adding in random scenes for the hell of it? it felt more like running around for no point. and i was looking forward to all the dueling that was suppose to happen in the castle and the fighting back against the death eaters thing. students against bad guys! i mean, where was all that?!? just harry running around chasing snape down?

— on a very lighter note, hermione granger is looking absolutely gorgeous in that movie. [: im absolutely intrigued where she got that SO SO cute peacoat. the checked one she wore a lot paired with the scarves.if anyone knows, please drop a line please?! 

for the skyping topic, i just did my very first phone call via skype and it was crystal clear! it was quite funny because shawn absolutely did not know who the hell i was at first so he talked to me in chinese [wei? wei? ni wei?] and im like “its hao you dodo.”. but yes, i am thinking about geting DSL for my house because i figured i’ll be needing to get faster internet for school. it’s an easy argument for me to give to my parents too. they’d rather have me study at home then at the library at UW. haha. but yes, maybeeeee sometime soon i won’t have to wait half an hour to load a MV from Big Bang.

also, night market for seattle is coming up. i’m considering asking my parents if i can volunteer with VSA there since i am now joined as a member. it should be fun and a good way for me to be introduced in with the people. i’m serious about joining too and maybe hopefully becoming an official in the future? VSA is Vietnamese Students Association. Night market is this thing held in the summer in the International District which is basically a mini fair with lots of food vendors and a night movie showing on a big projector set outside. it’s just simple fun.

well, it’s 3:30 am so i will head to sleep now. just packing up tomorrow so nothing so busy. i will definitely miss my late night eating out at taco bell or steak n shake and watching movies. and playing scrabble and upwords [amazingly competitive.] but i’m ready to head home. i can’t wait for school to start!

…even though you’ll be hearing about how much i can’t wait for break to start 5 days into the school year. [:

ttfn!

everything [incl. a condom comm.!] +2NE1’s review.

no blogging a week? point proven to my friends that i do NOT plan to spend the summer just blogging. =]

nothing special has happened in the whole week. besides a few disastrous spendings on my visa card [two very similiar orders from American Eagle, both with flip flops to take advantage of the free shipping, the second placed only after realizing that i had a 20% off discount that i could have used but didn't + a very expensive mecahnism for the cooler at the store] which placed it down to 80 dollars to spend.

it’s very hot today. and i was going to call up aly to see if she was busy and if not, we should go swimming. but i decided to spend it sleeping and reading the new issue of Wired magazine. quite mundane don’tcha think? i also studied briefly for my written test for driving [which i'll be taking tomorrow!] and hopefully passing it as well.

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i can now write about 2ne1’s new mini album which i illegally downloaded [don't act like you don't do that.]

final verdict? it’sokay. (:

my favorite is definately stay together just because it showcases their vocals a little more and doesn’t exactly have a consistantly annoying background beat unlike pretty boy. pretty boy though is actually an okay song. CL’s rapping is exceptional, coyly inserting beyonce references into the song. let’s go party has a catchy tune but unlike what the title says, it doesn’t get me into a dancing mood unlike fire which has a stronger beat to move the body. i don’t care is their new single and all i can say is that it’s so cute when they do the waving hands thing in their dances when they say care-eh-eh-eh-ehhh. [: lollipop is old news and we all know how annoying that song was anyways.

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during this week, i have also successfully navigated the web phenomenon known as AMAZON. we cleared out our garage last weekend and i’m selling a few old nintendo “collectible” games for my brother. only ten dollars each. i was hoping for something more but y’know, money is money and you can’t complain. i’ve also managed to clear out some stuff on craigslist. woot. i’m also constantly checking the job listings but i think i’m giving up on that considering i’d only be able to work about a month after iowa since school starts…sometime near the end of september.

uw advising is this thursday and friday~! excitement. i’m staying over in one of the halls overnight too. i don’t think my parents know that yet. but they will soon. i already paid for it and it’s nonrefundable (but i dont think my parents would care. if they didn’t want me to stay over, i would not be staying over). of course, sydney and i set it up so we’d be able to go at the same time because we fear not knowing anyone. but a part of me wants to make new friends and get to know some new people (afterall, it IS college right?) hence the whole staying overnight thing. and plus, it starts at 12pm on thursday til 8:30pm and then starts at 8am the next day…so i would rather just stay over.

what if everyone hates me and thinks i’m weird? shut up, hao’s head. =D see? i’m already fretting over it as if it’s the first day of school… and i’m also losing my mind slowly.

also, what makes a guy mature? apparently, i turned down a guy because he’s IMMATURE and my boyfriend is MATURE. hence the guy asked me “what makes your boyfriend mature” and my answer was a lame “he doesn’t do gangster signs for fun, laugh at fart jokes, and joke with his friends when they can see a girl’s pink bra through the back of her thin tshirt”. i think i’m lying about the latter. he probably would joke with his friends if the girl wearing the bra was a hot blonde /slash/ taylor swift lookalike. *sigh..

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i love how humans are so naturally curious. police sirens and anbulance wailings tempt us to look out the window. i’m wondering why theres cop cars the block up from our house. the ambulance and the fire truck already left so i know it’s not some kind of emergency but the cop car(s?) are still there. and i really don’t want to crane my neck out from the deck to watch because i’m blind as a bat especially at night.

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I”M SO EXCITED TO TAKE MY WRITTEN TEST. I JUST HOPE I DON’T FAIL.

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