if i had a nickel for every time…

- i wrote a text message and then decided not to send it. i’d be rich.

- i wrote a text message to this specific person and decided not to send it. i’d be rich.

- i slid my phone out to check if i got a text message. i’d be rich.

- i slid my phone out hoping to see if i got a text message from this specific person. i’d be rich.

————————————

verteran’s day today! slept in til 2pm. watched two gg episodes. ate half a large papaya. and now i am determined to do my physics until i get at least 80% of it done.

vietnam is in less than a month. excitemeeeeent. yes.

why is superpoke still popular on facebook? well, ocassionally, out of the blue, i get a barrel of monkets thrown at me. and facebook keeps encouraging me to “reconnect with melanie truong” because i haven’t wrote something on her wall lately. lol.

class scheduling for next quarter is FRIDAY. anxious because i only have so many choices.

i am most likely hooking up my DSL in january considering i got paid yesterday. yay.

i’m craving some froyo but it’s absolutely chilly outside.

i need to cut my toenails.

work was fun yesterday. i learned how to play darts. and i think my boss hates me because she told me to do dusting yesterday. it’s where you have to take ALL THE MERCHANDISE off the glass shelves and then wipe the glass shelves down with glass cleaner to make it all clear and transparent. and there are A LOT of shelves and A LOT of shit to take off the shelves and put back on. luckily, sandra came in and asked me to price stuff so…saved by very ugly wallets! (:

i was highly surprised by my physics exam. i was actually wondering if the teacher changed TAs because this time, if i just wrote down a few numbers and had no idea what the HELL i was doing, i got 3 points out of ten. =D so i ended up getting a minimal grade considering i mainly got 3 points out of ten on most problems. hahaha. ><” i think this will be the exam i get dropped.

ally is going through some tuffy problems that are making her sad so i try to be a good friend and be there for her but i’m so unsure about what to say and i don’t even know if i’m helping or making it worse. i get that sometimes i don’t get her and whatnot but i want to try to be a better friend to her and be there for her because since what happened on her birthday, i do realize that i take her for granted a lot. =|

 

more for less.

I DON’T GET IT.

being a girl, i do love wearing girly flirty stuff.

but can you PLEASE tell me why a  thong costs more than boy shorts sometimes.

or why denim shorts can be more expensive than denim jeans.

or a miniskirt more than pants.

i mean, there’s less material, so shouldn’t be cheaper?

tanks and camis are generally cheaper than whole tees.

and i’m not saying that the price ranges because of the brand and where you get it.

i’m saying WITHIN one store.

and WHY OH WHY ARE G-STRINGS MORE EXPENSIVE THAN THONGS?

tonight is my night.

floor rumbling to deep bass murmurs

eardrums shot with penetrating force

sweat mixed cocktails, salty lime stirred bodies

entwined trunks slithering smoothly, skin contact hungry.

seductive whispers “take me home with you “

blacklights highlight fly sights

unsatisfied, sound waves reach out to grab ahold

hands up in a church hallelujah, let yourself go

freefalling into rum-laced nirvana

point of no return

fly.

I WILL SUCCEED

my personality?

---

Much of the time you are preoccupied with things of an intensely exciting nature. You need stimulation and variation with all matters pertaining to your life. You want to be regarded as an exciting and interesting personality being able to charm and influence others. You use powerful strategies with predictable outcomes so as to avoid endangering your chances of success or undermining other people’s confidence in you.

 

You don’t really give in. You follow your beliefs and ideals to the bitter end. You are the personification of stubbornness and whatever may transpire, right or wrong, you refuse to compromise or make concessions.

Although you are, deep down, a very caring person, you are very particular in the choice of friends and indeed very demanding at times. You can be most quarrelsome and controversial and it is because of this argumentative trait you can at times explode into open conflict – conflict with even those you may care for and love. It is because of this inherent argumentative streak in you that may have resulted in broken hopes and dreams.

You feel that nobody really appreciates you and this is causing you considerable stress. You feel that you have to sublimate your emotions and this is depressing you no end. You feel that the only way you can resolve this untenable situation is to get away from it all and re-establish your own individuality. Co-operation is very important in your life, but this has not been forthcoming from anyone. No-one seems to care and it is because of this situation that you are finding it increasingly more difficult to let yourself go and as a result you are becoming more and more isolated and even, to some extent, introverted. You are displaying a touchy and an over sensitive personality. Trying to take on the whole world doesn’t help – you need to relax.

Anxiety and a restless antagonism, as a result of unfulfilled emotional needs, has resulted in considerable stress. You are trying to overcome this by working and playing extremely hard – but at all times you have your future in mind. You are a worker and as a result of your inherent enthusiasm you cannot fail.

———–

oh colorgenics, if only you could see the pain i was going through in physics class. (:

but wow, very true/=

www.goldinuniverse.com

a lost cause.

life is dynamic. it never stops.

and sometime’s you can’t keep up.

lost.

left behind.

swallowed up by your loneliness.

one month thirteen days.

so little time comparative to 1 and a half years.

yet so much can change.

 

i think i’ll go away for a bit.

midterm for physics is tuesday. midterm for communication is wednesday. i have too much on my platter and even though i know that i’m not able to concentrate these few days because of recent events, i’m thinking too much. it’s come to the point where i’m being swallowed up by fictitious tv dramas just so i can forget about what i’m going through. nothing but hollowed eyes and an aching body to come out of that. so. let’s prioritize.

who wants to cry when they can do physics hwk all day |:

thumbs down.

god, fawk. i hate it when it downpours and im stuck wearing wet flats all day. gah.

i’m spending too much money. spending too much money.

45 dollars on two pairs of boots. 20 dollars for a haircut. 2 dollars, 3 dollars, 4 dollars, here and there.

and i haven’t even gotten paid because i haven’t effing turned in my paperwork for work. it’s been a month late too so i shouldn’t even be complaining about that. gah.

physics is due tonight. screwed.. chemistry is due wednesday. screwed. chem midterm friday. physics exam tuesday. physics hwk also due next monday. comm midterm next friday. comm readings due this friday.

screwed screwed screwed.

although hanging out with diana was absolutely hilarious today. the two girls that sat at the same table were apparently really annoyed with us.

[hao leaves for the bathroom]

random guy to the two white nerdy girls: hey! what’s up. i’ll join you guys.

girl 1: oh no. we’ll move tables.

random guy: oh! it’s fine. i can pull up a chair.

girl 1: no. we’ll move. this table stinks.

[hao comes back]

this is what she told me went on while i was gone. i mean, wtf? this table stinks? those freshies be dissing on random girls. did i mention RANDOM IDIOT FRESHY GIRLS? i mean, okay, no lie. i’m a freshy, but these girls look like wanna emo nerds that only have each other for friends. and one of the girls had this FUGLY tattoo on the inside of her scrawny little forearm. and well, i was like “whatever”. but diana was totally shit-mad and she was hella going to call them out. which makes sense because biiiiiiitch, what the fuck did we do to YOU. we’re just sitting there laughing and talking about physics homework while YOU TWO don’t even know the simple ass prefixes for chemicals [mono, di, tri, hexa, hepta, penta, ect.]

fuck leave if u want but don’t be effing dissing us just because. rofl, diana cracks me up. [:

i totally died in physics class today and got 3/3 questions WRONG. so more  like, 0/3. gahhh. annoyance.

okay, i must go eat because i haven’t had a chance to eat all day. man! i’m getting skinny.

transformation.

it is the lust between us that i thirst for.

the intimacy consumes me.

makes me flex my fingers reflexively,

eager to dig into the creamy flesh of your skin.

the canines extend when i think of

the quickening steps of your heart

running to catch beads of sweat caught between our bodies.

so delicate, the veins that pulse underneath epidermis so thin.

your smell shrouds my mind, releasing me from all humanity.

resistance is futile, consummation is in our blood

let me in so i can feed upon the desires

that have caged us apart for so long.

the moon is out.

CAR !

i’m regressive in my parking skills. i have yet to fully comprehend how to parallel park and i get distracted by neon signs saying “YARD SALE” . i also get my own hands twisted together when i turn.

and the neighbors either think

1) i’m a hoot to watch or

2) i’m a menace to society and call the cops on me

no lie, a sheriff was drove by us at 8pm in the neighborhood. and trust me, you NEVER see cops in my neighborhood unless someone was shot.

and the vietnamese people across the street heckle and say “i give u 10 points for that” and raise their Heinekens in a cheer. and the guys my age walking around in their baggy pants give me thumbs up [yay!] and the other people closely watch me to make sure they pounce if i scratch their FOB-ified honda civics so they can get some money.

we also drove out the ezells by my house down by the market. and it was hilarious because i was pulling into a parking spot and i was slowly backing up and pulling in and really close to the car and this fat lady in the ezells [dinner?] poked her head out of the front door and said something and watched me like a hawk. she had an old ass car too so whateverrrr lady. i’m more scared of scratching MY car.

——-on a different note.

i’m really flattered when people remember me after meeting me just once. like if they remembered my name or something completely random about me. i think my random comments really stand out sometimes.. [:

& the dawg daze dance party was NOT amazing as it was meant to be? “there’s only like 5 people dancing. it’s really funny.” but then again roxanna called me at 11:40-ish so maybe it wasn’t crackin` yet xD

and funny enough, i already know what to get my family for christmas. and my friends too. i guess having money does make you think generously. [:

because your words sting! &stealing from comcast.

sometimes i’m too sarcastic and mean or somewhere on Mars for my own good and i need to be brought down to earth with a slap in the face and some reality-fact quick checks. thanks sydney.

so my parents have been oddly sneakily open to me going to uw campus. oddly enough. when i asked to go today…

me: dad can i go to uw today. around 4..

dad: more books!?!? how many times do you need to go?!

me: no. for fun. i’m going rock climbing.

dad: who did you schedule with already..

me: oh..anna and sydney invited me…yesterday…*hesitant, prepares for rejection..*

dad: okay. how you getting home?

me: you’re picking me up of course.

…UW. YES.

so it ended up with just me and sydney because anna didn’t pick up her phone and cc had lunches/dinners to attend to for her scholarships and eric was busy with the dudes. it was horrible because i didn’t have my contacts so EVERYTHING looked the same. i went squirrel chasing and these two cute white guys walked by and were like “hey. how you guys doing? cya around.” and i’m like DUDE, NO. I WANTED ASIAN. FAIL. but oh well.

i did NOT realize the IMA was SO EFFING far. i mean, it was practically on the OTHER SIDE of campus. and once we got inside, it was asian galore and i was silently cursing i didn’t wear my contacts to oogle. i mean, guys play half naked basketball?

“dude that was dylan yoo”

me: “who the heck is dylan yoo”..

OMG. AS I JUST WROTE THOSE WORDS ABOVE. I REALIZED WHO DYLAN YOO IS. HE WAS THE ONLY CUTE ORIENTATION LEADER THAT WAS PART ASIAN.

you know what i feel like now? that pervy nerd teacher that wears he glasses and gets nosebleeds when he looks at the high school girls in those mangas. dear god..

anyways, we walked around the IMA. they have an exceptional pool WITH A KIDDIE POOL ATTACHMENT which i happily pointed out to sydney.

oh which also makes me think of something random. she was saying how she would just sit there on her laptop while i drown and have to get rescued by the lifeguard. and the first thing i said was “no thanks. i dont want random lips on me. what if he had herpes.” which  came out of nowhere but actually made me stop and think WHAT IF HE DID. OMG.

what if the lifeguard had mono or some canker sore on his lip. and then he gives you CPR. and then… ]: creepy. that should keep me from drowning.

we ended up NOT being able to find the rock climbing wall. but then again, we weren’t entirely dressed in our shorts tank top with flip flops clothes combo. next time maybe.

it was a uphill walk back and we ended up going to the bookstore where SYDNEY made the ultimate diss to our friend in front of PEOPLE. it was horrible. i seriously thought it was so so so mean.

sydney: hey there’s raheem!

me: HI RAHEEM!

raheem [walking with a few friends.] : hey. you guys live on campus?

syd: no

me: commute. you?

raheem: oh i dorm at mercer.

syd: mercer!??! isn’t that the crappiest* dorm?!

*i don’t remember what word she actually said. it was either crappiest/worst/ect..

his friends LAUGH. i was FUMING at sydney. raheem just laughed…awkwardly. god that was just killer mean. i swear, she CAN be such a bitch sometimes. but then again, it made me reflective of me. the hypocrite. so i shouldn’t be talking..

and she also pounced when i happened to mention me and shawn are still together because she was asking if i found a rebound yet.

“but don’t you think it’s romantic for us to stay together?”

“a long distance relationship?”

“yeaaaa 1 and half years…”

“so? right. okay.”

sydney, oh you make me want to squeeze you to death sometimes.

this is why my resolution is to at least try to be nice[r].

bookstore where i got my lab shizzles and then froyo on the ave. classic hanging out. i should have gotten the gelato though because the froyo WAS NOT GOOD. i genuinely feel bad the girl though because her roomy bullies her around and “buys expensive ingredients for food…” which they have to split the costs. three girls. 500 a month. i saw that whiteboard with X’s and $$ amounts listed for each person and i was already shaking my head. and the room is tinyyyy. oh syd. i feel for you.

i swear i’d be a great roommate. it’d be chill and whatnot. i would cook for you and you just help out. and i swear, i live cheap and will use NON ORGANIC products because i’m cheap that way. and i’m not that much of a neat freak as long as it doesn’t stink up the apartment or something. if only i could apartment. =[

so far, it's a good start. practicing driving a lot tomorrow since it's the last weekend i have free from hwk. this last week has mainly been parallel parking. which is the worst. THE WORST. OH!

i have an i-love-my-dad story. so we were practicing parking and practicing with only one car def. does not work so my dad is like "okay. we'll just have to go get a traffic cone or something tomorrow" and i'm like "uh okay."

apparently one of the people near the store has a traffic cone because my dad goes over to their house to ask for it. but they're not home so we're outta luck. AND THAT'S WHEN MY DAD SEES THE COMCAST GUY DRIVE UP. comcast guy parks there, TAKES OUT TWO TRAFFIC CONES, puts them at the front and back of his car, and disappears [to do come cablework i suppose?]. anyways, yes. you saw this coming. MY DAD STEALS A CONE FROM THE COMCAST GUY. the front one at least. it was sheer hilariousness. too bad we went home before the comcast guy left. i REALLY want to see his expression. xD oh dad, you’re so silly sometimes.

anyways. good food tomorrow too because it’s ong ngoai’s [grandpa's] death anniversary. and then dawg daze sunday. and then monday. and tuesday. and then school. and next weekend, we’re heading to my sister’s and her new big house with the neighbor that has a tennis court and a neighborhood where the wives get together once a week and have a game night.

AND THEY HAVE CUL DE SAC BBQ WELCOME-THE-NEIGHBOR-IN PARTIES TOO.

it’s completely creepy to me because we’re asian. it’s too suburban.  too…stepford. but they have kids my age? so maybe i can play tennis with them when i go down for the weekend. i’ll make sure to pack my polo shirts to fit in.. ><”

well gooodnight. i must go read some OBAMA now.

…makes me look smart. [:

my good deed of the day.

i brought snuck my large 33gallon bag of recycling stuff to the store and emptied it into the recycling bin. i took it out of my room when no one was watching, ran out to the car, popped the trunk, tossed it in, and then quickly scrambled back into the house. hey, who ever said saving the environment was easy? [: if i hadn't done that, the bag would have been tossed in with all the other paper products and burned as most things are [plastic included] in our fireplace.

yes, my house is one of THOSE houses the emit dark black smoke in the summer from our chimney. but being asian, of course we burn it at night so we can pass it off as some stupid truck that needs to fix it’s exhaust pipe rather than it being some toxic spew of carbon dioxide flying into the air.

but i do my part. even if my parents actually would YELL at me when i do my bi-annual recycling run. it’s all the papers i accumulate from school + crap. and when my parents yell at you, YOU DON’T DO IT AGAIN. the end. so i sneak [:

--

our kitchen is almost done!

here are some pictures from our demolishment. and ill put some up of the new one up when we're doneeee. [which hopefully should be today.]

oh and remember that raccoon i wrote about AGE ago?

i never did post pictures of him/her. so here ya go.

quite cute. that’s our cat food he’s reaching into the bowl to get. and we thought our cat started developing a healthy appetite too.. -.-”