BAM.

i demolished that midterm. it had nothing on me.

[:

though i did forget the formula for perchlorate. but hey, ohwell. (:

poor itty bitty hao.

my bank account is 400 down after less than 2 months?

omg.

and plus, so much for my whole painting pink rainboots black to make it black with pink dots.

my boots are falling apart.

and chem lab today was terrrrrrrrible.

our machine was fucked up so we weren’t able to get the data that we wanted and whatnot. so afterwards we had to steal someone’s data. *sigh.

today. has not been good.

 

pick up the ball and throw it.

please don’t cry little girl.

life’s too short to waver on such trivial matters.

a road is never so straight that it doesn’t have bumps.

but that’s all they’ll be.

climb, crawl, run, walk.

however you choose, just don’t stop.

anyone and everyone deserves the pursuit of happiness.

but it’s up to you to choose the pace at which you go.

———————————–

i slept at two yesterday. it was annoying. i laid there fussing over things that are completely irrational. lately, i’ve been seeing traits that show up that are traits i have always berated other people for having. traits that i’ve always pointed out to be bad.

dad says that deep down, everyone is the same. we’re all human beings after all. we all consist of the same emotions. individualism is just how much of each emotion we show to the world.

currently: in chem class reviewed for midterm

currently: eye twitching. contacts blurry. time to get new ones but bank account is slowly sinking.

past: got a haircut yesterday that i am mixed feelings about.

future: i don’t know what’s going to happen in my life, specifically a certain part of my life. but i have a keen feeling that it’s bound to happen at one point or another and i’ll just be sad when it does.

currently: feeling ashamed because i promised to cover clicker* questions for her and i forgot her clicker at home.

past: in a constant state of miff.

i think i will go ddr my heart out today. i’m just that confused.

maybe ranting to sydney will help. afterall, my friendship with certain others are dynamic and right now, some are on the fritz [and not because of me] . some i just can’t talk this crap too because they are too biased toward one side or the other.

—-

*clicker: a thing that looks like a remote control that you buy for most science classes to press in your answers during lecture classes. this is use to check for attendance most of the time and you get minimal points for a correct/incorrect answer. and plus, your answers only count for a small percentage of the whole class (usually participation points) so it doesn’t even really matter. unless you’re an obsessive person like me that cares about every little point because it could be the potential make it/break it point between a 2.9 and a 3.0.

not dead yet.

but i sure feel like it.

college has been extremely stressful i’m amazed i haven’t gotten anymore gray hairs yet.

i almost did break down on tuesday and started banding my head on the table [padding with a notebook of course because that would hurt!] and started tearing up because physics has turned into my worst enemy. no lie. that shit is NO FUN. i mean, okay it’s all formulas and yes i can memorize the damn formulas but WHEN DO I USE THEM. and not to mention, MY TEACHER SUCKS AT LECTURING.  ]:

i did meet some new people, ran into some old people, and kept life on a constant.

of course, i disturbed the silent study floor once again at odegaard like i did in the computer lab at seattle central. but i couldn’t help it! i TRIED to keep my voice quiet as a friend and i eagerly caught up what had happened in the last…6 months we haven’t seen each other. all in all, it was a fantastic break hour filed with many laughs. he’s taking korean! which i eagerly flipped through his textbook and embarrassed myself with. =P

and my physics buddy who cannot see in the dark [even with her contacts] is quite gorgeous. she also has this crazy cool bar in her ear where it goes from the back of the ear to the front. and it’s red because she didn’t want green because she “didn’t want people to think it was earwax”. hilarious. and i BASICALLY did her last physics problem for her 2 minutes before the deadline so she hecka owes me lunch now. and well, mainly communications class has been a failure in terms of meeting people. not that i haven’t met people. i have. it IS communication class afterall. but the girls i meet…blah. they’re all blonde and sorority girls and i just really can’t hang out with them because they’re SO self-centered. like SERIOUSLY. the girls in my mini quiz section are.

besides school. work has been fun~ my coworkers are simply hilarious and we get along great. they’ve mainly been working for a long time so they’re really fast with stuff but i stumble along great. but this week, i have to work 7-11 >< SEVEN. in the MORNING. i just hate the part that my supervisor doesn’t like her workers eating/drinking behind the counter so i have to like STARVE until the end of my shift where i voraciously devour my sandwich in the backroom. *sigh.

i also think i’ve been sadly losing weight just because i don’t have enough time to eat. i mean, my hour break i’ve been using to print all my notes out for classes and doing last minute hwk. it SUCKS. and i just really really want a place to sleep because i’ve been staying up til one doing physics homework.

also, friends have been drama problems and i’ve been kind of going back and forward between the couple trying to sort out issues and smooth things over. im trying to be nice, remember? and my own problems include MY own friends being unsupportive of MY  relationship. grah. i mean, it’s hard enough to be hundreds of miles away from each other. i don’t need to take any crap from anyone about it. all this is making things fuzzy and annoying for me. which also i might note, at times i wonder if i bend over backwards and worry about other people to much. ie, him. i mean, i feel narcissistic when i say that i try to be the good girlfriend that doesn’t cling and be needy but secretly, i crave doting from my other half. i feel jipped sometimes that he doesn’t call me to say he misses me or how i am and just to check in. or that he doesn’t do romantic things like send me an email with a love song. you’d think that’d just happens in the movie but in real life, stuff like that ACTUALLY HAPPENS. some guys DO do super romantic stuff and be sweet and all that shiz. i would know. i guess maybe i’m just expecting too much now.  i just wonder if he thinks of me still . it’s kinda sad ain’t it? i’m just being too girly.

anyways. the ‘rents wanna head back to good ol’  vietnam for winter. my cousin is getting married and my mom wants to visit grammy. BUT THE WEDDING IS ON THE 10TH OF JANUARY. so my dad is completely balse about school because he thinks it’s TOTALLY a piece of cake to be able to catch up on a week+ of hwk for PHYSICS AND CHEMISTRY. apparently, after i get the hang of physics this quarter, the second quarter should be easy peasy. WHAT THE HELL DUDE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? and it’s not like my parents are totally going to let me stay at home because THEY DON’T TRUST ME (okay, maybe they have a reason to not trust me) . GAH. i’m willing to go because i love viet nam but i SERIOUSLY don’t want to miss a week (or more) of school. especially in the beginning of the quarter? ]:

today, i slept in til 2pm. it was the most amazing of my life because i have seriously been sleep deprived. i did hwk and had a gossip girl marathon before my ass brother came home and took over the TV like he owns it (he kind of does considering his bought it, but WTF). congrats to ally for getting her permit! she’ll finally have the chance to scare some people on the street. [:

…my birthday’s next week and i don’t think i’ll be doing anything. maybe just go get a haircut. ^^ i also need to invest in some boots because its going to RAIN next week. rah. rain + physics = i need some prozac for depression.

welcome to technology.

i have finally caught up to everyone my age~

i got a texting plan.

i was planning to pay for one anyways after getting a new phone but my sister called beforehand and was saying how the existing texting plan between her and her hubby is 20 and an unlimited one for the whole family is 30 so she just upgraded.

texting is miraculous. it’s funny because i have no idea who to text anyways. i’m afraid of texting people who don’t have a texting plan and then they’ll kill me [i use to be one of those people]. i also am having a hard time choosing a phone that won’t break my bank account. the lg neon and pantech are relatively affordable but everyone says they’re crap? recommendations for the lg xenon but that costs 100 so and i’m reading reviews for the samsung impression, but i have no idea..

anyways. school starts wednesday and i have a quiz on a 25 page article [that i haven't read] on friday. fail.

phase II: college.

COLLEGE IS HERE.

AND I’M GOING TO BE A NICER PERSON.

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS HERE I COME!

———————

Move in day is Thursday and I’ll be in the area because I’m going to be buying books off craigslist. Yea! I’m so jealous of everything. Move in day. Dorming. Late night Dawg Daze Events that I WON’T be able to attend [LATE NIGHT SHOPPING AT FRED MEYER? DODGEBALL?] But that’s fine fine fine because I’m anxious to start NOW. Okay, maybe it’s just so I can be in a lecture hall with 400 kids and feel what it would feel like to be 1 out of 1000. BUT NO! I WILL NOT SUCCUMB TO BEING LOST IN THE MASSES. I WILL BREAKOUT [HOPEFULLY NOT ON MY FACE ...] OF THE MOLD!

That is, if I’m able to. Definitely trying. Badminton club. VSA. Swimming. Peanut Butter and Jelly Club? [With Anna]. Har har har.

Cute asian guys at UW. I’ve seen them around. They’re DEFINITELY there. And no, Ally. They’re not all FOBs. Only 50% of them. But I have a feeling that I won’t have that much time to be diddlydallying around. [I shouldn't be either considering I'M TAKEN]. I should get my ass on that chemistry book RIGHT NOW if I had the brains too. For some reason, I have this weird idea that somehow I will find a friend in Communications class that will end up having either Physics/Chemistry with me and we’ll be all buddy-buddy and skip into the glorious sunset together. Or huddle under a small umbrella in treacherous rain depending what what month I ACTUALLY make a friend. I’m giving putting my bets on November 5th, give or take a few days. That will be the day I make a good friend. Take it or leave it, yo.

I’ve been SO stressed out these last two days because my first pick of Work Study jobs DIDN’T WORK OUT. On a slightly but still connected to the topic tangent, I was watching teh season premiere of Heroes [HIRO'S!] and Claire’s, the cheerleader’s, roommate made me laugh SO hard. I mean, she had the next 10 years of her life planned out on a pink cardboard sheet of paper with glittery stars and arrows and PICTURES. Then she ended up being thrown out the dorm window and bleeding her guts out on the floor below. Sadness. ANYWAYS. THAT WAS MY POINT.

….In case you missed it. I was trying to point out that you shouldn’t PLAN things so far ahead because they will not go according to plan. I was NOT trying to say that planning your life ahead for the next ten years is bad because you could potentially die tomorrow…kind of.

Anyways, relative to my Work Study. I was kind of placing all my chips on this one job and I didn’t realize that they were looking for someone with big chunks of hours in their school schedule for the job. Which I don’t. Because when I was planning my schedule, I wanted enough time to be lazy between classes and grab food, but not have huge gaps where I would have classes until 8pm or whatnot. AND NOW I HAVE TO LOOK FOR A JOB WITH A WEEK UNTIL SCHOOL.

gah.

The only big opening for me is working in the gift shop of the UWMC which I would have PLENTY of experience in CONSIDERING I FREAKING WORK IN A STORE NOW. I DON’T WANT TO WORK IN ANOTHER PLACE LIKE THAT. ]: But I don’t have data-entry experience and the other positions have been filled. *sigh. There was another position working with Occupation Therapy in Pediatrics WHICH IS PRETTY MUCH DREAMY…but I screwed that up because I sent my resume in with the objective line UNEDITTED so it says “Seeking a Student Assistant position in the Biology Department” because I had just applied for the Bio department earlier. So now, the person is probably thinking “god this girl is so unorganized and doesn’t look over her papers”.

Fail.

Yes, Izzy. We are failures together. BUT NO WORRIES. WE WILL BOUNCE BACK AND BE BRIGHT AND SHINY LIKE ANNA FUN! ^^

Shawn’s at UCLA and he’s basically having the time of his life. Frat parties with ASIANS. Being invited to Badminton club. He’s totally going to forget about me oogling all the blondes which move in packs. Which I commented and said “Like Harry Potter?” which I don’t really think he got. BUT OTHER HP FANS WOULD. GOD. JOKE FAIL. But there was a very tender moment where he said my panda was getting lint-y. Which really made me wistful because HE STILL HAS THE PANDA I GAVE HIM FROM LAST YEAR AND HE BROUGHT IT TO UCLA AND I WAS MAKING SUCH A BIG DEAL THAT HE DID AND HE NONCHALANTLY SAID “YEA. I DID BRING IT”. I wanted to cry. ><”

Speaking of repeating the word FAIL, SYDNEY IS MOVING IN! AND WE’RE EXCITED! AND COLLEGE! YAY! MASSES OF HOMEWORK! YAY!

The Dean of Undergraduate Academic Affairs lives right by the store so he stops by occasionally. And he’s a really nice guy that looked into my record before I even got my acceptance later, and then a few days after I got it, he came in and inquired whether I got in or not. And when I said “yes”, he said good job and that he knew I would because have a good application. =O STOP LOOKING AT MY STUFF ><” Creepy to know more about me than my parents [who have no idea what I wrote as my college essay!] But all in all, he stopped by yesterday and asked me if I chose my advisor yet.

AM I SUPPOSE TO KNOW HOW TO DO ALL THIS STUFF ALREADY? I DON’T KNOW. WHERE ARE THE ADVISORS?!?!?!

I ended up dumbly/lamely saying “I have yet to because I wanted to see how my classes turn out”. He told me stop by Mary Gates Hall [at least I know where THAT is] and say Hi and that the advisors are on the first floor. YAY FOR FREE KNOWLEDGE. Can I use my connections to get ahead in school? Maybe? xD I’ll be needing all I can get.

Okay. Well. This post was hugely about college and it’s really lengthy and not real fun. But it’s really the biggest thing in my life. Besides the kitchen being DONE. [:

Pictures soon~!

it’s time to go.

미치겠어 . &hearts;

life rushes by and yet i’m still standing here wondering what happened the best of the past and what i should expect of the future. graduation is tomorrow and night, and really, i don’t want to go. it’s true. 2 years away from the people i love and my second home has truly made me an outsider. throw in my parents and my home-life and i could easily live my life out as a aestetic in the forest or something. 4 years ago, i can still remember standing at a certain corner in the hallway of school in the morning and exactly where my french classroom was. heck, i still remember mcbennet’s highly ironic stories of running into past bf and realizing how small the world is. 4 years later, i am estranged from my friends, hiding in the corner as messages of “let’s hang out” are turned down and phone calls ignored. i really shouldn’t. i know i don’t want to live my life as a loner. i don’t. but lately it’s been more of a passiveness about me. i like solitude. i am wholehearted (literally) clinging onto the one person who is currently my life and world because soon, he will leave me too.

selfish right? the fact that i wrote he will leave “me” too. as if the world revolves around me. hm, how does the story go. the boy meets girl one? boy meets girl. girl meets boy. they fall in love. blah blah. the end? as i sat tending to my sick boyfriend this morning, i realize that things do end. the words “the end” are true. what isn’t true is the happily ever after. all stories may have open endings where anything happens but it will always have a “the end”.

this is the video i watched as i sat in his quiet apartment, headphones plugged in, silently letting my tears fall.

school has been particularly stressful. wanna see my zits?

EW.

yes. ew. it should go onto one of those acne forums where people discuss what latests zit products to use. hahaha.  btw, my skin wasn’t all that bad. i just stopped taking my pills…so..they started popping up. but it’s true. school has been crazy. we’re doing handstands in yoga (that’s how crazy it is!). communications is a bit off schedule but i did my speech and basically nailed it. anatomy is going to kill me since all cells look alike to me. and it’s not like i even go to astronomy. but it’s the last quarter and i must say goodbye to my temporary home of seattle central once again. i truly love central. it’s just, so… i don’t know. you meet so many different people and it’s funny to see how often you run into a person you know even after 2 years. though the people i know always seem to be guys…ohdarn.

life has been pretty steady lately though. only because i haven’t done anything out of the ordinary. i think i’ve settled down into my whole not-being-able-to-go-out thing. but it’s def. been spotaneous with my nephews and brother and sister-in-law over for vacation. here are some pics! (:

oh yes, we’re so cool. hey! you can see my dark tooth! lol.

btw, i got this new hp tablet with a webcam and microphone so maaaaaaaaybes i can do a video. that is most likely after i get everything done as in school and whatnot. so. yea..

we’ll my time in the library is up. i’m going home.

wishes for this week

-graduation will go well

-i start recognizing the difference between serous, mucous, and mast cells.

-my boyfriend gets way much much better….and chooses UW. (the latter being very far-fetched)

-getting won’s email!

-a new phone maybes? (:

-less zit outbreaks

-chilling more with the lil ones. it’s their last week here!

prom no show.

yes, i didn’t go to prom and yes, i’m not afraid of saying that i don’t really give a damn. sure those facebook albums made me feel like a social outcast for the first few pictures or so…but oh well.

i did not go because 

1) i am so disconnected from my high school, i swear i’m just graduation day away from leaving it behind. there’s only a few i carry on in my heart, but just a few.

and 

2) the main reason is that my mom would have went with me. and who the heck wants their mom to go with them to prom. i mean, awkwarrrrrrrd.

i’m going to the epik high concert afterall.

you know what’s  highly ironic though? my mom got very sick the few days around prom. so if i chose prom (over epik high), i could have gone. alone. and freak danced with some random peoples. [; i had a gorgeous dress and jewelry and shoes and stuff. i could have gone with someone. i could have had a nice dinner and whatnot. but ohwell.

anywho. it’s in the past. whatever. prom is just something that comes and goes. though when i have kids, they’ll probably think i’m some loser but THAT’S OKAY. (: 

it’s just a short thing today to remind me in the future of not going to prom and whatnot. i haven’t been writing much. i promise an oober long one coming up consisting of random shtuff such as my evaluation of netflix and excitement regarding the concert and summer plans and yoga and of course, 2NE1’s MVs and new song “Fire” (which is HOT.)

 

ta.ta.

bi bim bob.

 

 

 

 

 

i’ve compiled a short list of things i have learned this week. or “learned”.

• people do things they don’t mean to do. subconciously. it’s just part of their nature. and if you hate it, then it sucks for the person because i hardly doubt they will/can change. as the saying goes “it’s part of who you are”. so if you think the relationship or friendship, or whatever ship you’re in, is worth it, then take them as a whole. stop analyzing every little miniscule shit thing about them.
• i may be more emotional than i thought.
• i need more girl friends. definitely. but i always seem to find something wrong with girls… and apparently, people do notice me when i don’t think so. and they talk about me too. whisper whisper. 
• chemistry is actually not that hard. it’s just a lot to remember and i get mixed up with equations and facts. but it’s all very logical from there (in terms of calcualtions and whatnot)
• if you want someone to know something, tell them straight out. don’t just stand there and hope they read your signals or something. or even worst, hope they “eventually” have some brain attack and realize/understand what you mean. they won’t. humans are dense. (i am NOT saying that i am NOT. i am more dense than most humans.)
• make sure you take doxycycline with some food because otherwise you will feel like you’re going to throw up and blame it on your chemistry final when it is actually because you only had a cup of coffee and a nectarine for breakfast
• silences don’t need to be awkward. they can be everything you need and fill all the spaces in between two people. silences can be everything you need to say. 
• spring is coming. just look at those cherry blossoms bloom.

 

last final tomorrow. csc one today. did fine. i’m hoping he’ll bump me up to a 4.0 or that this homework will help because im borrrrrrrrderline. and i have perfect attendance in that class too. gosh ! chem final today was easier than i thought. though when i got home and looked over notes, i realized i did some wrong. but y’know. screw that. im free from chemistry !

had lunch with my sweetheart today. apparently i clearly smelled like korean food and that my coat absorbs food smells like crazy. maybe kenneth cordoba just has a very strong nose than can pick out foods like a real conniseur. gosh. and just because i listen to korean music doesn’t mean i know what food i’m eating. it’s not like korean songs sing about bi bim bob. but it was amazingly great anyways.  man, i’m craving some banh xeo.

 

 

my mom can make sexier banh xeo than that, peepz. haha. i just told her i wanted to eat that this weekend and she’s like. “it’s tuesday and you’re already planning for the weekend?!” yes, i like to plan ahead mom. especially for dinners. yummy yummy.

 

oh and yesterday, i had the most fabulous time at Gameworks! i soooooooo wish we had more time to play, but beggars can’t be choosers. i’m running on limited time with him! T____T  this is going to suck.

 

what else is new. i have a stalker in my life. if you are reading this, PLEASE STOP CALLING ME. I AM TOO SWEET TO TELL YOU TO STOP. I WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND BUT WE HAVE BOUNDARIES! *sniff sniff. jk. kinda. sorta. confused. *zit pops up on face* aghhhhhhhhhhh.

okay. must get some ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZs.

 

…………………………………..

natalie’s communitychannel video viewers are just getting more ridiculous everyday.  pornomusicslashcomment is NOT that much fo a big deal yo. and those your mom jokes are seriously getting old. it’s only funny from her and her schmexy schmexy accent. just a small sidenote.

hakuna matata.

if you don’t know what the means, you haven’t seen the Lion King. if you haven’t seen the Lion King, you missed out on a huge part of childhood. so please do. go. i command you. after all, that movie can teach you more lessons about life than any sexist princess movie. 

anyways. i think stress has definitly gotten the better part of my because my face has literally turned into ZitWorld. but i don’t blame myself, i’ve been up too late, battled with a slight cold, changed my face wash (i think i should go back to biore, as expensive as it is, at least it kept my face less red than usual), battled with friends, battled with homework, battled with seattle’s effing cold. and of course, finals week is coming up soon. next week i have so much stuff due it’s ridiculous. 

i actually have to start attending art class now because we actually have a new teacher that took over for our old one (who’s in the hospital) and she actually teaches and is going to do our final and takes attendance and whatnot. but y’know what? apparently i got full points on everything i’ve taken in that class (midterm, essay, quiz) so i’m in hefty fine shape. plus, i already did my museum writing (the notes at least) and the art piece should be easy enough.

i did want to write about having no worries though. as much as stress i have now, i’m trying to keep my chin up. my family’s been talking over lately and the recession has started to affect us. profits are going down low. my dad took over the saturday shift (9-4) and we’re considering working until 10pm on fridays too. though i don’t understand because i swear my mom has money stuffed away somewhere in a bank saving’s account but apparently we can’t touch that until we’re dying. so my dad is stressed out over selecting which bills to pay and which bills to leave until the absolute last minute (that is, when they threaten to cut our power or something the next day) because we just can’t pay everything at once. and i do the bill paying every month for the store. gah.

 

anyways. im watching gossip girl.